The Life And Times Of JB

Still here ...

2007-12-14T22:01:00.000+11:00

It's Friday night and I'm here. JB, are you crazy? Well, we all knew the answer to that one a long time ago. I was heartened by a couple of posts I received in reply to the previous thread, so I thought I'd just come by and say hi!

It's definitely been the festive season so far. Lots of drinking, sunbaking and playing golf. And it's not even Christmas! But that will soon be upon us and gone before we know it.

Just waiting for the cricket to finish before going to one of many Christmas parties, which reminds me - because I'm not as regular here as I used to be - that I should wish you all a merry Christmas and safe, happy and prosperous new year. Make every post a winner.

Never is a promise and you can't afford to lie ...

2007-12-04T21:22:00.000+11:00

Poignant subject line, I know. Great Fiona Apple song, too. Check it out.

I promised that normal transmission would resume shortly. It didn't. Aside from saying sorry, it's also me who feels remorseful that I've neglected what has been a fixture in the lives of many close to me in the last couple of years.

But I think the blog is dying a slow death and that, after 194 posts - including this one - comes the feeling it's almost time to pull up stumps.

I remember that in times past I would put a picture or two up here to mark an important moment in my life, like travelling. Well, I've been to Sydney three times this year and I haven't posted anything. My return trip to Hawaii has also sadly not been recorded in the annals of this here blog.

The blog might still have a place and it technically isn't going anywhere. It's right here, still, right? I might come back here now and again when I get some motivation but for those who hope of it being like the good ol' days will probably be disappointed. I'm disappointed, too.

I know I have got some loose ends - those Sydney trips, including the second instalment of my September to remember - that need tying up. They still might. Just not right now.

In summary, I'm feeling pretty good since changing jobs (but still with the esteemed broadsheet) and moving to Melbourne (but still calling Geelong home). I'm getting lots of comments and compliments on my appearance and people tell me I look happy. They're right. I am.

Normal transmission will resume shortly ...

2007-11-14T21:55:00.000+11:00

Sorry about the lack of updates as I approach two significant milestones (turning 30 and reaching 200 posts). It might be a little bit of filler, but this story, courtesy of Australian Associated Press - and related to the Cats - cheered me up yesterday. Don't worry, I didn't even contemplate getting a tattoo following the grand final win. Maybe it had something to do with not consuming 15 beers and walking into a tattoo parlour.

Anyway, there's more to come. I promise/hope. There's the September to remember (part two), the October to get over and the November to ... well, hopefully it will be one to remember too!

Tattoo mistake turns Cats fan's arm into gay icon
MELBOURNE, November 13 - A Geelong fan has been left with a disastrous permanent reminder of his AFL side's premiership triumph after a Thai tattooist inscribed his arm with the words ``Gay Premiers 2007''.
Instead of ``Day Premiers 2007'' as he wanted, hardcore Cats fan Neville found his message hopelessly lost in translation on a recent holiday to Phuket.
To make matters worse, the tattooist also managed to mistakenly ink Neville with the words ``left arm'' and ``right arm'' - but at least he got the correct arms.
``I gave them a piece of paper and wrote down `right arm', the new Geelong emblem they've got out now ... and Day Premiers 2007,'' Neville told Southern Cross Radio.
``On the left arm side I wrote `left arm' and the two grandkids names and Night Premiers 2006.
``When I first walked in he showed me the picture of the thing, and I just looked at the picture and didn't really take notice of the words.
``My son-in-law walked in halfway through it ... told me what happened, and I thought 'you're joking'.''
Neville, who admitting to having about ``15 cans of beer'' prior to having the tattoos done, said he paid $150 for the privilege of literally having a gay icon emblazoned on his arm forever.

A Scottish colleague called him a dumpling! And a Geelong fan to boot!

So sad but so true ...

2007-10-26T11:34:00.000+10:00

I needed a bit of a laugh when I received this forwarded e-mail from the man formerly known as KL (you will soon discover that I now - sometimes, old habits die hard - call him MVP after his efforts on grand final day). This list made my day (and made me laugh) and if you're from G-Town, then I'm sure you'll appreciate it too.

I've added my own personal commentary after each of the 45 entries. So, without any further adieu, you know you're from Geelong when ...

1. You were born at Baxter House.
(No, but Rogan Josh was.)
2. You still hang out with the same friends you had in high school.
(What's wrong with that?)
3. You can't go out without seeing someone you know.
(Again, what's wrong with that?)
4. You always end up at the Eureka every Saturday night.
(As a younger man, I may have done this.)
5. You used to always end up at the GH every Saturday night.
(Again, as a younger man, I may have done this.)
6. You remember the good old days at the Lyric.
(Again, again, I seem to be repeating myself.)
7. You have eaten food from Kev's take-away van on Gheringhap Street.
(Sadly, this Geelong experience has eluded me thus far. Kev and his take-away van weren't out on Gheringhap Street last Saturday night, so I'll say it may not happen.)
8. You have waited an hour for a taxi after a big night out then given up and walked home ... because nowhere in Geelong seems very far when you're drunk (or sober).
(I know the drill already, I just start walking. How else do I explain my athletic physique?)
9. You had schoolies in either Lorne or Torquay.
(Another experience to elude me, but then again, I wasn't much of a party animal in my formative high school years.)
10. You hung out at Barwon Valley Fun Park as a kid.
(It was because I wasn't a party animal that I may have hung out - and enjoyed - Barwon Valley Fun Park. Who doesn't love flying foxes?)
11. You have attended a Poppy Kettle festival.
(Yes.)
12. You have performed in a school play at GPAC.
(No. Not that I know of.)
13. You have been on a school excursion to Happy Hen's and Warrumbidgee Farm.
(Yes, although I think they spelt the name of the farm wrong. I tried to Google it.)
14. You have been on a school camp to Sovereign Hill.
(Yes, I caught gold for the first time. Sadly, it was the last time as well.)
15. You remember when Waurn Ponds was one giant paddock.
(Sadly, I do. Now it's a urban jungle.)
16. You claim Missy Higgins as "Geelong's Own" because she went to Grammar.
(I don't claim Missy Higgins as "Geelong's Own" because she went to Grammar.)
17. You generally think people who went to Grammar are wankers.
(Exactly.)
18. You were possibly a "Joey's Boy" or dated a "Joey's Boy".
(I hated Joey's because I went to the rival Catholic boy's school, Chanel. And similar to that beauty on the Jim Beam commercial, I like girls. Even when they don't like me. That way.)
19. You know someone who went to Chanel or Morongo.
(I just may have!)
20. You attended either Deakin or The Gordon at some point.
(I'm looking at my Deakin University diplomas now - they are sitting right next to the keyboard.)
21. You know several people who work at Target.
(Yes.)
22. You know someone who played for Falcons.
(Yes.)
23. You have a Geelong Football Club sticker on your car.
(If I owned a car, I would.)
24. You insist on still calling Skilled Stadium "Kardinia Park".
(Or KP.)
25. You regularly see footballers in your local supermarket and don't particularly care.
(Being a Geelong fan, I care. A lot.)
26. You know Lamby's is the place to be after a footy match at KP.
(See, they even called it KP! Lamby's rocks/rocked, especially on Sunday nights.)
27. You think Billy Brownless should be our mayor.
(Not particularly, but he would be better than John So or Geelong's actual mayor, whoever he/she is.)
28. You have a very strong opinion about Sam Newman.
(I reckon he's a great personality. Just not a great person.)
29. You have a very strong opinion about palm trees in Moorabool Street.
(Yes, we're not Southern California. On Saturday night, someone tried to set fire to one. And before you ask, it wasn't me.)
30. You think The Advertiser's a load of crap ... but you still read it every day.
(I don't think it's crap, I've got a number of friends who work there. And I did work experience there! If it's got Geelong footy news, then I'll read it.)
31. You can leave work at 5:15 and still miss "peak hour traffic".
(If I worked in Geelong, I probably would. But then again, I work in Melbourne. I just live in Geelong. For now.)
32. You have jumped off the tower at Eastern Beach and slid down the hill on a piece of cardboard.
(Good times.)
33. You remember when Village only had two cinemas and going to the old Pix on Elizabeth Street.
(Again, good times.)
34. You remember when Smorgy's opening was the biggest event in the town's history.
(I must have been sleeping when this happened. But I do remember waiting for 90 minutes with the Blog Family to get into Sizzler in the early '90s. Unbelievable.)
35. You remember when Club 4 Play was a creepy underground McDonald's.
(Yes, and thankfully I never went there. Club 4 Play, that is.)
36. You remember when OfficeWorks was World 4 Kids.
(I love the whole juxtaposition of Club 4 Play versus World 4 Kids. W4K wins every time.)
37. You remember when Brashes was a cool place to buy cassettes.
(So cool that they even spelt Brashs wrong. I bought U2's Rattle And Hum there. In 1989.)
38. You insist on still calling Westfield "Bay City Plaza".
(I do.)
39. You remember when Bay City Plaza car parking was free for the first two hours.
(What, it's not free anymore?)
40. You refer to "going shopping" as "going into town".
(I do. This is starting to sound like a wedding ceremony.)
41. You went on a Contiki tour and met several other people from Geelong.
(I did not. In fact, I was the only Victorian male on my European tour and the only Victorian female happened to be the niece of one of my fellow colleagues at the esteemed broadsheet. Small world.)
42. You know what "Buckets and Bouquets" are.
(I do. Bouquets to the person who created this list. Buckets to the long list of people who have knocked G-Town over the years.)
43. You know Geelong doesn't just rock. It K-Rocks.
(It does.)
44. You always refer to Geelong as "G-Town" when talking to Melbourne people (or any people really).
(Do I?)
45. You acknowledge Geelong's a hole ... but still get pissed off when Melbourne people call it "Sleepy Hollow"!
(Seriously, and if you haven't already gathered, I'm very proud of my home town. I reckon it's awesome so naturally I get a bit miffed when people knock the place.)

Can anyone out there think of five more to bring make this list a Top 50?

It's all just fantasy ...

2007-10-23T17:18:00.000+10:00

More about my September to remember in a later post for this past weekend was, aside from working at the esteemed broadsheet, spent crunching the numbers for the upcoming fantasy basketball season. While those last three words of that previous sentence are never going to get the girls, the same group of 10 guys have been getting together since the start of this decade with the ambition of wanting to be the best general manager in fantasy hoops. However, only three GMs (Special K, Shan Dogg and K-Lenko) have earnt this highest honour. I thought it was worth the opportunity to post a picture of all of the lads together as it only happens once a year and here's hoping my team, Unexplained Bacon, can take home the bacon come April 2008.

A September to remember (part one) ...

2007-10-17T08:09:00.000+10:00

It wasn't that long ago, but I imagine I'll be talking about September 2007 for years to come. Indeed, it was an exciting time, as both my teams - Geelong and Manly - descended deep into their respective football finals. Expectations were high and a big Hawaiian holiday was also on the horizon. I was in my element housesitting for K-Beezer and Cameroon who were also in their element, galavanting around Europe for a month.

There is no photographic evidence that I attended the first week of Geelong's finals campaign with Poppa Blog (who is also overseas) to see our Cats bounce the Kangaroos from the MCG in front of a big crowd on a Sunday afternoon. So I made sure that, following the team's week off, that the Canon was in my pocket for what was the biggest game of football I have ever been to, the preliminary final between Geelong and Collingwood on a Friday night, with more than 98,000 in attendance.

The day started off well when the Murf Man invited me to the Hotel Spencer for a Chicken Parmagiana (I believe that dish deserved capital letters). There were a couple of guests: one was a fellow writer from the esteemed broadsheet, and like Murf, a fellow Pies fan. But to even up the Heath Ledger, the other lunch guest was Mark Wilson, bass player from the band Jet. Mr Wilson and yours truly have a few of things in common, like growing up and barracking for Geelong and even going to the same primary school. So there you go. It's a small world.

The only bad thing that occurred was the amount of beer I consumed over the course of the afternoon. Upon leaving the pub with a few Coopers Pale Ales above my belt, I went to see Rogan Josh at his new inner-city abode before going to another fine drinking establishment, and in turn, getting to the game just before the singing of the national anthem.

The dynamic duo of K-Lenko and C-Bas joined me. The latter, a Western Bulldogs fan, joined us because he actually wanted to watch some good teams play when it counts, in September. More beer was consumed and despite what I said earlier - that I drank too much, hence missing key parts of the game - it may have helped time lapse much faster and I did learn from it the following week. Before you could say "Collingwood suck", Geelong had won a game that they didn't deserve to by a small margin of just five points.

So there it was, Geelong was off to a grand final and following the match between Manly and North Queensland the night after, so were the Sea Eagles. And I got tickets to both matches. As I said, it certainly was an exciting time.

To be continued.

Much mahalo ...

2007-10-12T08:03:00.000+10:00

I'm here at Kahalui airport and because I have nothing better to do than spend my hard earned on expensive Internet access I thought I'd give a shout-out to the loyal fans that are left. Just about ready to fly back to Honolulu for the final night - might even watch the Los Angeles Lakers - before heading home tomorrow morning to end what has been a great trip where I met a ton of great people. I might have also drank a ton of Bud Light and Cap'n Coke, but that's another story.

This morning I indulged in a favourite pastime - shopping - which reminds me I'll have to make the use of the remaining 15 minutes and 25 seconds here to check the bank balance. I just checked ... not good.

If there are any readers left I promise to return to Australia and start blogging again. For real. It might even help me fill in the few blanks that I have had on this trip. I thought the computer would allow me to upload some pictures but unfortunately it won't.

So I'll see you soon, down under or online. Cheers.

Tumbleweeds ...

2007-10-11T05:19:00.000+10:00

Regretting the extreme cost of an Internet connection here in Hawaii, but totally happy with the decision to come here. I'll post much more when I return to Oz broke but happy. Aloha and mahalo to you all!

Running like the Energizer bunny ...

2007-09-27T23:57:00.000+10:00

Trying to complete 1000 errands today prevented me from going to Geelong's final training session today, but it didn't stop a reported crowd of 5,000 turning up. I hope to make up for it tomorrow when I attend the grand final parade. Should be fun.

The start of the week was a bit anti-climatic. I found out I got tickets on Sunday night when plenty of others didn't and then turned up to the club on Monday to find out they were standing room only. In the words of Con The Fruiterer's wife, Marika: "I no complain." It was just a bit of let down, but then I think of the plenty of others, some of them my friends, and of their disappointment. So K-Lenko and I will be flying the flag on Saturday, standing and all. And I'm starting to get nervous. Although people are doing pretty well. I've been so impressed with the outward displays of pride and emotion. The main streets of Geelong were awash with blue and white, I kid you not. Sometimes I want to take 100 pictures. Or at least bottle it.

Today was my first day of three weeks off. So what did I do? Well, apart from missing Geelong training, going to the dentist, getting my hair cut, walking the dog and cleaning up, I signed a contract to buy a house. Not to live in, I'm just going to rent it out like the other one and see how it goes. But as a result I've left myself with bugger all cash for my upcoming trip to Hawaii. So therefore, the trip to the casino last night with the Rayman - back in town for a week from Scotland - made even less sense. Oh well.

Haven't heard from K-Beezer and Cameroon or Momma and Poppa Blog so I hope they are alright, jaunting around Europe - somewhere. My time housesitting for the younger of those two fine couples finishes up shortly and I must say, I've had a blast.

Anyway, it's off to bed for me. Tomorrow is the beginning of some huge days, I'm sure you'll agree. Wish me luck.

Spendy September (let's hope it's successful) ...

2007-09-23T23:44:00.000+10:00

The year was 1995 and I was an exchange student living in the good ol' US of A. My love affair with Septic Tanks started but something was missing. It was September and in my homeland both my favourite football teams - you should know them by now - were playing in their respective grand finals. And they lost. And I wasn't there to see them.

Fast forward to 2007 and there's a sense of deja vu. Geelong in the AFL and Manly in the NRL will attempt to avoid the repeating of history of 12 years ago. And they will have someone there who was absent last time. Which seems so so long ago.

And who is this mysterious person? Me! I got tickets. Just found out then that one my application to the ballot in the Geelong ballot was successful. This happen just a day after I snagged a ticket to see Manly play the following day. All I need now is an airline ticket! But I seriously feel bad for the many who have missed out on the Geelong ballot and I know a few of them personally. We'll be cheering for you!

I had intended to post about last Friday night, which ranks up there as one of my best days ever in the history of the world. Why? We'll you'll just have to stay tuned for that one, but I'll give you a hint. It involves a hot ticket, a football team, a member of a famous rock band, some good mates, a chicken parma and beer.

Yes, it was that good. And I have the pictures to prove it.

Tonia, this one goes out to you ...

2007-09-19T21:08:00.000+10:00

I'm still convinced that Facebook killed Blogger. And unfortunately for the latter, it was a slow, incremental and rather painful death. But perhaps Blogger hasn't been read its last rites. A friend of mine, let's call her Starbate, e-mailed me this afternoon and wrote: "Your fans are waiting to see if you’re going to say anything about the football." In fact, one of those fans, Tonia, had told said Starbate: "Can you ask JB to hurry up and update his blog, I'm trying to be a fan but everyday I keep seeing the same old story."

Maybe the dwindling readership have grown tired with coming to this here blog and seeing the same ol' stories. I don't know, because I don't hear from them like I did in the past. There was the District Attorney, Paraletic Paramedic, Cousin Slugg and Trent Croad's Thighs, just to name a few. But they, like yours truly, are now all members of Facebook Nation. It's called progress. But that doesn't mean I have to like it.

So, what has been happening in The Life And Times Of JB? Well, I'm housesitting for K-Beezer and Cameroon who are somewhere in Europe and will shortly be joined by the Blog Parents. But don't feel bad for me, because aside from getting free rent, I will be in Hawaii in less than two weeks time. In between that, I'm hoping to not go to one grand final but two. It just all depends on what Geelong and Manly do over the course of this weekend.

And finally, on the topic of football - in particular the Australian Rules variety - a work colleague, (via Facebook yesterday nonetheless) informed me that Googling the words "Geelong" and "keeping a lid on it" will list this here blog. "I was looking for a slightly more authoritative source of information but it was thrilling nonetheless," wrote Silky Dan. "You know you can link to your blog from Facebook? Just think how many people could access your observational nuggets then ... although, to be fair, I have installed such a link myself and have noticed no discernable uptick in blog traffic."

So there you had it, Blogger was pronounced dead but the defibrillators are doing their best. Please wait in the emergency room and hope for the best.

Take the quiz, hot shot ...

2007-09-03T22:35:00.000+10:00

Winding down here at work this evening and had a bit of a blast from the past. I took ninemsn's gangland quiz and found this picture accompanying question 19: "Carl Williams, pictured in red pullover, is seen being followed by the media down a Melbourne street. Which gangland figure was killed on this day?"

Well, Carl might have shed some kilos being inside and I've done the same on the outside, getting below 100 kilograms again - and getting 19 out of 20 on the quiz - is also due to a healthy diet combined with a great deal of exercise. This subbing is agreeing with me. Not sure about how Big Carl, Fat Tony or any other large people with first names are doing though.

When I went to Springfield ...

2007-08-28T22:14:00.000+10:00

OK, so I never actually went to one of many of the United States of America's cities called Springfield - the closest I have been to a Springfield is in Eugene, Oregon.

But on my travels on the World Wide Web this evening - they have the Internet on computers now - I found a website that uses your likeness from an existing picture and then "Simpsonizes" it.

So that's what I've done. OK, so it's been fairly quiet towards the latter end of this evening. A fair likeness I reckon. I'm off to the Kwik-E-Mart. Mmmm, donuts and unexplained bacon.

Random musings from the underground ...

2007-08-26T22:41:00.000+10:00

It's late Sunday night and I'm waiting for the all clear to head on home, which obviously means I'm at work. I did manage, however, to come in a bit late so I could get to K-Park with Poppa Blog for the Cats final game of the year - three quarters, actually - the top-of-the-table clash with Port Adelaide. And before that, I sat on the couch and watched Manly play the Warriors in New Zealand. I think Ice Cube, who will be in Melbourne next week funnily enough, would say: ''It was a good day."

Well, both games were played in front of crowds of around 25,000, and both my teams lost. But I'm excited that both are at the top end of their respective ladders and hopefully will feature very prominently next month. Sitting in the shade as the players ran around in the sun and on the green grass made me remember that I love September. To quote Better Than Ezra: ''Seems like it's always understood, this time of year."

180 degrees/180 posts (travelling in the same direction) ...

2007-08-20T22:11:00.000+10:00

At work on a very quiet evening like tonight gives me the opportunity to search the Internet mindlessly and dream about other places. That's not to say I'm not having fun - I'm into my third week of being a "sub" and am really enjoying it. It has given me the chance to witness the fitness (to quote Ron Burgundy, I look really good being near that elusive 100-kilogram mark) and to work on my golf game. Hitting the links helps me fill the void that has been left in my life by not meeting a quality woman but I was nearly about to give it up at Moonah Links yesterday.

Cameroon and Cousin Davis joined me on the ferry from Queenscliff to Sorrento for our excursion to Moonah Links, the so-called Home of Australian Golf. After an extended warm-up we strode to the first hole of the Legends Course. And a legend I wasn't. First hole and JB hooks it into the trees. Lost ball and a penalty of one stroke. So JB tees it up, again, and hooks it into the trees. Again. Lost ball and a penalty of one stroke. You get the drift. After I managed to get it off the tee (and in a playable area), I lost the ball in one of Moonah Links' 6,747,506 bunkers and was about to break my clubs. Except they're not my clubs, they're Poppa Blog's. And this is the first hole. In short, I took a 12 on that hole and tried to put it out of my mind. Off to the second hole ...

It got a little bit better after that but my day dramatically improve when I followed a few simple pointers from one of my playing partners that worked well. So well, in fact, that I was bursting out of my skin to play again, which I did at 8.30am - the advantages of beginning work in the afternoon. I started strongly, but then it shortly went to the schizen. But it's not going to happen overnight and I've got to be patient. I feel like I've made some real progress.

All I want to hear is that you're not mine ...

2007-08-16T16:25:00.000+10:00

Did Facebook kill Blogger? It doesn't have the same ring as whether video killed the radio star, does it? But when I received confirmation today that (Not So) Single Sarah joined the Facebook craze it had me thinking where is technology going to end? And does the blog end with it? I'm still a bit of a cynic of Facebook, but searching the profiles of various people while working the late night thing has kept things interesting. And believe me, I need to feel interested. And I found these pictures of myself from last year that I didn't know existed. That's a good thing.

Currently enjoying a day off after working six days straight. Must be some sort of record. Went to the gym today and looking forward to going out for pizza this evening with K-Beezer and Cameroon, the later who will be joining Cousin Davis and myself for a trip to Moonah Links via ferry on Sunday to lose some golf balls, let out some swear words in frustration and generally ruin a nice walk. Why do I like golf again? Probably because it's not like dating, that's why.

When all is not what it seems ...

2007-08-08T10:46:00.000+10:00

Work is going well and the afternoon shift allows me to tear it up at the gym in the morning. To indulge in a favourite pastime of mine, quoting Ron Burgundy, I will say that I look good, I mean, I look really good. Geelong and Manly keep winning and that warms the cockles of heart, but other things leave me feeling far from marvellous, much like Richie Benaud.

My tardiness on this here blog has left some pundits to suggest that it may be time to take the next step in the IT world and ''enter the realm'' of that social networking phenomenon known as Facebook. Well, I have dabbled my toes in the water in those confines - albeit with an alias name which I was later told destroys the whole point of thing. For instance, it would be impossible to find me. So, alas, I think it will still be the trusty blog for me, but considering I'm a bit too open with my feelings then maybe I should reconsider this too.

Ready, set, GO ...

2007-07-30T10:49:00.000+10:00

My excitement can't be contained in the world of sports at the moment. Geelong are the AFL's top cats, although the mantra of "keeping a lid on it" is one I preach daily. Like an evil lover, they have let me down on too many occasions. In the NRL, Manly are second on the ladder to my second favourite team, Melbourne Storm. Boston are top of the AL East in the baseball while the Steelers, who have enjoyed recent success, are ready to begin another season, although I'm sad to say my good mate, Premier Brax, has gone west and is working for another team.

But the purpose of this post is to put a picture of Greg Oden wearing a Blazers jersey on this here blog. I was ecstatic when Portland got the first pick before using it on this seven-foot manchild, who has the craggy face of a guy in his 40s even though he's still a teenager. Apologies to that other esteemed broadsheet, The Oregonian, for "borrowing" this picture (left) of a Blazers billboard for this post. Along with Brandon Roy and LaMarcus Aldridge, I have no doubt Oden will restore the faith of those associated with Rip City.

The adventures of good and bad ...

2007-07-24T10:22:00.000+10:00

Even at work, a change is as good as a holiday. Almost.

I had alluded to future developments in an earlier post - if that makes any sense - but as of yesterday I am no longer a reporter. Don't worry, I haven't been sacked by the esteemed broadsheet. Instead, I have decided to take a break from scribbling the various goings on of Melbourne's legal system.

The new challenge? Editing the stories of other people, my former peers, for a living. And working at night. OK, I might not have sold that too well to Blog Nation, but here's the good news: I'm finally moving to the sports section of the newspaper. When the opportunity came up I took it with both hands, like a strong contested mark by Cam Mooney. At the moment, I have my training wheels and L-plates firmly fitted and spending a couple of weeks in news before I jump across to sport, a department I have long wanted to work for. As long as journalism has been a pursuit.

There are good and bad things about the change. I'm going to list them, because there might be one day when I look back and say: "Why the hell did you do that for?" And then, I can come here, check out the list and respond: "Because it was a decision you weighed up heavily. You're from the Blog Family. You're pragmatic."

Good: More money, mainly because of the penalties I receive from working nights and weekends. Bad: Working nights and weekends? Am I crazy? Perhaps, but that's for another post. Good: What is crazy is waking up at 6.30am to go to work. It's nearly 11am and I'm still in my pyjamas. Writing about criminals, some of whom are crazy, is crazy. To them, I say goodbye and good riddance. Bad: No longer seeing my name in print. Yes, that does sound vain. Good: Having added responsibilities and the opportunity to develop my skills.

So the progress score has good beating bad by 3-2. In all honesty and seriousness, I had been toying with the decision for a while but as soon as I found out it was reality I wanted it to happen straight away. I felt like I had become stale and pigeon-holed, both of which weren't making me happy. I'm also confident that a change in career will bring about some positive changes in my life. Like going to the gym more and enjoying other leisurely things, like a nice glass of scotch and my dog, Baxter. Just kidding, although drinking and care for canines won't be difficult when I begin work at 3pm and finish around 11pm. I just believe that if it works out, it works out. If it doesn't, then I can try something else.

In light of the career and life change, bad grammar on this here blog will certainly no longer be tolerated. Neither will bad manners. But people just being their bad selves? Well, that's all good.

Javed (Me and Dad) ...

2007-07-11T21:26:00.000+10:00

It's a given that you have to get along with your folks if you're living with them - at 29 - and that rings true here. My Mum is the best cook in the world but the topic of this post goes out to my Dad, who goes by the moniker of Poppa Blog (pictured right, with yours truly) in these parts. He's been a real ally lately in the mean old world of real estate and it's sensational having him in my corner fighting the good fight against the industry's bad people. There's plenty of them to go around.

Which leads me to think that despite my various backgrounds firstly in sales (I was once my KMart store's "Customer Service Person Of The Year") and now in communications (more on those developments in a later post) I would still have absolutely no career in real estate. While it has been a path I have considered pursuing - as Paul McCartney would call "times of trouble" - in short, I am the following: too ethical, too honest, too fair, too considerate and too nice. Maybe too modest as well.

So this post goes out to, as Atomic Bombie put it yesterday "The Orb Of Real Estate". Too bad there's not plenty of them to go around as well.

An ode to inner-city living ...

2007-07-08T17:52:00.000+10:00

This image brings back memories for me, just as I imagine it would for the British Slugg and the DA from the OG. I put it up here to serve as a reminder of the good times that were had living in South Melbourne and as inspiration for looking at a (small and modest) place to buy. Poppa Blog and I ventured up the road yesterday to look at several likely prospects and, in turn, discovered the grotty, unscrupulous and sometimes downright unethical world of real estate in Melbourne and the people who make a good - but far from honest - living from the industry they serve. Apparently my late grandfather called them "starvation agents" and after yesterday's events, he wasn't far from the truth.

And with this post, I'm back. Sort of.

Sleeping ...

2007-07-05T19:18:00.000+10:00

I've been on hiatus and considering my blogging options over the past few weeks. A self-indulgent time has been since the establishment of this here blog in mid-2005 but I'm wondering if it's time to pull up stumps.

Some might say "hooray", some might say "boo hoo" and some might say "ho hum". Maybe I might leave the blog as is and write whenever necessary but without the frequency of past posts. As always, input is welcome.

Thank you and good night!

Berry sick is how the kids felt ...

2007-06-16T16:01:00.000+10:00

What's up with the Children Of The Blog Family all coming down with a mystery illness this week despite all living in separate residences and having no interaction, save for a chicken dinner on Sunday night? K-Beezer was ill nearly all week, Rogan Josh left work early yesterday having a similar complaint while I was so drained I nearly fell asleep at the esteemed broadsheet. While some may joke that's standard practice, let the truth be known I went to bed at 7.30pm last night and slept through to the corresponding time this morning, rising only to get a hair cut, to scam some medication from the Beez herself, head to the bank, look at some golf clubs before finally buying some consumables with "good bacteria".

First the flu from a few weeks back and now this. I'd much prefer to blog about my travels quite frankly. Hopefully I'm going to break the 60-minute mark at The Age Run To The G tomorrow and then see the Cats play (and win) at K-Park. It just all depends on how I feel. And with that, I hope that anyone reading this is well, too.

You're too Bombay to been seen in a Hyundai ...

2007-06-14T21:48:00.000+10:00

Reminiscing over holiday snaps, I remembered about forgetting to post the final picture of my American car hire adventures, as I did in Hawaii with Barry Buick and Florida with Christine Chevrolet. With that introduction I formally introduce to Harry Hyundai who helped me cover California. It's been a slow news week.

All dressed up then, now nowhere to go ...

2007-06-09T20:31:00.000+10:00

This is a tale of two Saturday nights. I'm on the computer updating my blog now and yes, I know, that sounds like so sad being a Saturday night! Earlier I was serenaded by the beautiful Carla Bruni, whose latest release "No Promises" is wonderful as is "The Crane Wife" by The Decemberists. The contents of both albums and some other ditties pushes my iPod song count to more than 8,000 tracks. 8,032 to be exact. I had fish and chips, I watched footy on the television and soon I will be going to bed.

Last night was spent belatedly celebrating the Murf Man's birthday, but just in a grander fashion than last time. The camera took the night off after a busy evening enjoying the Melbourne Storm game about this time last week. Yes, Molly was there, as was Bracksy but Russell Crowe failed to make an appearance to support his beloved Bunnies as they lost 26-10.

CA, Murf Man and yours truly were in Collingwood last evening but I think that other dude from last week might be across the Tasman. Both were great nights and you'll just have to take it from me. I was at "home" by 3.30am this morning ready to fight another day. After saying farewell to Murf Man and The Jeweller, I had an awesome day looking at some golf clubs and taking in the Sneakers exhibition at the NGV. So here's to the long weekend - see the monarchy does give us something after all - as I look forward to Sydney.

I'm going to Bondi, but not to visit this bloke ...

2007-06-06T16:59:00.000+10:00

A fellow journo said in court yesterday that it had been a pretty quiet year for news in Melbourne. How that has changed in 24 hours. An awful collision involving a truck and a V/Line passenger train that killed 11 people yesterday followed by the news that the fat fugitive Tony Mokbel was caught in Greece last night. And now word that some high-profile footballers will be charged over a pub brawl last year in St Kilda.

Well, I am going to Bondi in two weeks time for yet another break after last year's memorable trip. And in a strange twist, Mokbel used the alias, Stephen Papas, who apparently hails from Abion Street in Bondi. I'll be able to tell you in a fortnight's time if that's actually the case. But one thing is true. Papas, sorry Fat Tony, could pass as The Fifth Beatle.

Suddenly approaching 1000 ...

2007-05-28T14:11:00.000+10:00

This here blog is nearing an important milestone. It's taken 168 posts to do so, but according to Blogger's very rubbery figures I have nearly had 1000 hits at The Life And Times Of JB, so I wanted to thank you - the readers. The blog started almost two years ago with a meaningless post to basically boast that I was "out there" in Cybersville. We'll it's been a great ride and I hope it will continue.

Luckier than a four-leaf clover in a Range Rover. Sort of ...

2007-05-24T20:07:00.000+10:00

I dreamed about getting back to the good life. And then I got sick. I've missed the past couple of days with the dreaded flu and I'm going to rest up over the weekend, which means no golf or other leisurely activities. I've stressed about leaving my workmates in the lurch and even tried to be Superman and went to the esteemed broadsheet on Tuesday, which made it worse and I've been paying for it ever since.

So, I've been stretched out on the sick bed, er, couch during the past couple of days and nights and have watched no fewer than three DVDs and games of rugby league, basketball and baseball. This may sound good in theory and it would be awesome if I felt good, but I don't. Headaches, blocked sinuses, sore joints and muscles. Remember that television commercial from a few years ago? I'm starting to sound like that annoying guy you don't want to sit next to on a plane.

It hasn't been all bad news though. I managed to catch the NBA Draft Lottery on Wednesday and my beloved Portland Trail Blazers managed to snare the first pick, despite having just a 5.4 per cent chance of doing so. I've been wearing my Blazers hoodie ever since and I think it had something to do with crossing all my fingers and my toes. Having Brandon Roy there (right) might have helped a bit, too!

You might be wondering what the big deal is. Well, I can say that having the top pick means drafting either grisly Greg Oden or the babyfaced Kevin Durant next month, both who are considered quality "can't miss" big men. And having either of them will mean Portland can shed the Jail Blazers tag, giving the great people of the Rose City an exciting and successful team to support again. I'm reading how Blazermania is back with 2,000 season tickets sold since yesterday, One team official called it the best day in franchise history. They needed some luck and they got it. If only I knew from where.

"It's time I got back to the good life" ...

2007-05-15T20:53:00.000+10:00

I feel like the hamster running around the wheel at the moment. Busily going nowhere fast. Always counting down to the weekend, only to find that I'm busy both days and then regretting that I haven't simply rested. I can't even remember the last time I had a sleep in. In my own bed. I can't say I need a holiday, because - let's face it - I have more vacation time than the average person. A week at Spring Racing Carnival, three weeks over Christmas and New Year, five weeks to travel to the United States and looking, at least, to have another three weeks in Hawaii and Florida in October. And then there's Christmas and New Year again. And my 30th birthday. I might as well never work again. Here's to positive thoughts.

So tonight I'm at home. Poppa Blog got the computer back so I'm frantically putting some of Murf's music collection on my iPod. This evening it's The Arcade Fire, +44, The Notorious B.I.G. and Lily Allen. Murf and me both went and watched Melbourne Storm beat the Bulldogs last night and he's no longer convinced that it's a sport played and followed by boof brains and block heads. Momma Blog even expressed her joy at the resurgance the game is enjoying. The day before I saw Geelong stride to victory against West Coast. Before that I played golf and despite having a lesson with the club pro I still managed to hit 130. Saturday I went to bed very early because of the night before celebrating Murf's birthday - welcome to your 30th year boy - and drinking at the pub up from work where I succeeded in nearly obliterating myself. Hence the subject line, even if it was only for a short time only.

Anyway, here are some pictures. On the left is Cap'n Neilson with yours truly. Anyone who can conjure up a bottle of the famed spiced rum at 1am in the morning is a winner in my books. On the right is one of many pictures that Poppa Blog took at the football on Sunday with his new camera. He's a winner, too.

He never met a picture he didn't like ...

2007-05-09T21:27:00.000+10:00

Welcome to Wednesday night here at blog central. Or is that Blog Central? I've been punishing myself with punctuation lately. OK, so Miss Oregon wasn't a winner after all. There were no posts about the latest addition to the Playboy Mansion - or The Life And Times Of JB - so tonight I'll mix it up. I'm still taking entries for The Life And Times (Of The Mates) Of JB - Volume 2, as Volume 1 was a big success. Since then, AC Literally has disappeared, Murf still barracks for Collingwood and Slugg is in London.

His brother, Cousin Davis, joined me and said Murf Man as well as his better half, The Jeweller, at the Dave Matthews Band gig last week. I looked for the review but couldn't find it, so you'll have to settle for one from the first time I saw them in 2005. I only mention it to put this picture up. Or is that below? The art of taking the perfect concert picture is, as Tony Greig is want to say, a tough ask. Everything - the lighting, the band, the crowd, my ever-wavering right hand - has to be right. Then you need a bit of luck. It's an equation where the figures very rarely add up. But I think I did it (below left). Compare it to one of my favourite photographs (below right) I have ever taken - and I have taken a few - of Death Cab For Cutie at Portland's Crystal Ballroom in late 2005. They look good if I don't say so myself.

Nice, er, number plate ...

2007-05-04T21:09:00.000+10:00

Unfortunately, I didn't see Sara Jean Underwood the last time I was in The OR but this busty blonde beauty from the Pacific Northwest has just been crowned the 2007 Playboy Playmate Of The Year. Hooray! Hef has his hands full but it poses the obvious question: Do Made In Oregon have any girls like Ms Underwood? Like many of my friends, she's a Beaver (a graduate of Oregon State University) and who can ever forget that Playboy "Girls Of The Pac 10" cover? I hear the men typing into Google right now. SJU hails from Scappoose - which coincidentally rhymes with caboose - and is said to mean "gravelly plain". Anything but, pardon the pun.

Now if I can not offend the female readers who will hopefully put this down to JB simply being JB. Chicks dig a guy with a sense of humour apparently.

Music is the soundtrack to life ...

2007-05-02T21:49:00.000+10:00

OK, so Blog It: Songs Of The Moment, Volume 1 never quite made the printing presses. But that doesn't mean that the second 20-track instalment, which was marked earlier this week with the addition of Modest Mouse's "Spitting Venom" - a perfect finale to an imaginary album spanning over eight minutes - to the honour roll can't go ahead. Yes, a long sentence.

The decisive list is below, which means I can make Silversun Pickups the only band to get Song Of The Moment twice - a rare feat. I can't get their song "Third Seed" out of my head or their album "Carnavas" off my iPod. Which leads to the question: sould a song or an album be in italics or just "inverted commas". But without further adieu, here's number two:

21. "Hands Of Time" by Ron Sexsmith (September 28, 2006)
22. "Heart Design" by Aqueduct (October 3, 2006)
23. "Human Beings" by Maritime (October 14, 2006)
24. "The Adventure" by Angels And Airwaves (October 22, 2006)
25. "Of Montreal" by The Stills (November 3, 2006)
26. "Blue Bird" by The Rosebuds (November 12, 2006)
27. "The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot" by Brand New (November 18, 2006)
28. "I Almost Forgot" by Matthew Sweet (December 5, 2006)
29. "Bandits" by Midlake (December 16, 2006)
30. "Bad Diary Days" by Pedro The Lion (December 24, 2006)
31. "The Upper Peninsula" by Sufjan Stevens (January 9, 2007)
32. "It's Not Your Fault" by New Found Glory (January 24, 2007)
33. "Welcome To The Black Parade" by My Chemical Romance (February 4, 2007)
34. "Living So Well" by The Crayon Fields (February 14, 2007)
35. "Vibrations In Air" by Josh Pyke (February 28, 2007)
36. "The (After) Life Of The Party" by Fall Out Boy (March 13, 2007)
37. "Walk Into The Sea" by Low (March 28, 2007)
38. "Hell Yes" by Alkaline Trio (April 8, 2007)
39. "Lazy Eye" by Silversun Pickups (April 11, 2007)
40. "Spitting Venom" by Modest Mouse (April 28, 2007)

It's funny how these songs remind me of specific times over the past six months or so. I was living so well when a girl introduced me to number 34 and then she gave me the album to which number 35 resided. But after dealing with her I feel like number 40. Numbers 21, 24, 29 and 33 came around the time I saw those respective bands live. Number 37 was when I was driving around Hawaii's Big Island and could literally walk into the sea while number 39 reminds me of the Florida road trip with the Murf Man when the iPod iTrip failed me, meaning we were stuck listening to his CDs. Not a bad thing, mind you, devouring what the critics are listening to. In between that, I found number 38 at a record store in San Francisco when I heard that band's familiar sound blast out of the speakers and bought the album when the girl at the checkout confirmed my best suspicions. I also bought "Carnavas" for Murf, hence why I'm listening to Silversun Pickups now.

And on the topic of great music, Murf Man and The Jeweller met Cousin Davis last night at Vodafone Arena for the Dave Matthews Band show, an epic show lasting more than two-an-a-half hours. More for another post. To make things more interesting we bumped into Starbate who went with the Ziffbomb, another esteemed member of the esteemed broadsheet. And then an old primary school friend, Black Dog, walked past and we had a chat. The lady who hooked up us with the tickets was also in this wonderful mix. You just had to be there, I guess. It wasn't a fusion of east and west, but some my of Melbourne friends meeting the gang from Geelong. I sometimes feel like I have a double life.

DMB would be a viable choice for "Song Of The Moment" but they are against some stiff competition. Anyway, to quote Todd Vaden Lewis, frontman for Burden Brothers, a band who has narrowly missed out on such status for the past month: "Always have a good time, all of the time."

A farce (and a football team) ...

2007-04-30T21:21:00.000+10:00

No, I'm not here to rave about the end of the Cricket World Cup or Ben Cousins returning from drug rehab. What angered me today was the news that Victoria Bitter has released a new mid-strength beer that comes in the same distinctive brown bottle but is adorned with a different label. Talk about a new yellow peril. A colleague will have an article to appear tomorrow in the esteemed broadsheet which is still esteemed, but just not as broad. The beer, like the esteemed broadsheet, is proudly Australian, but so is Australian Idol and that means I don't have to like it. But lump it I must. I pondered its existence just moments ago - a blog Exclusive (with a capital E).

Other things getting my goat this week are the fickleness of females, the game of golf and the performance of one Geelong Football Club. The latter (but also the formers) are continually happy to take my money but not willing to give me any value in return. The Cats were hardly back and coach Mark Thompson lamented his "weak" team. It's the last time I believe what I read on a banner. After watching them lose to Hawthorn in the unlikely surrounds of Tasmania last week, I ventured to Kardinia Park yesterday to watch them be humiliated by the Kangaroos. I was due to sit with Poppa Blog in out new Brownlow Stand seats, but took up an offer from the sister of a work colleague who was looking for someone to hang with. I've been to the movies by myself in the past, but I don't think I could do the footy solo. So the highlight of the day was meeting her and popping down to Momma Blog and P-Blog at halftime to indulge in a cup of tomato soup. I'm not going to talk about the game. We all remember last year's ill-fated football blog. I do, anyway.

So that's about it. What do I like then? In no particular order: A nice glass of Captain Morgan (and their cool commercials), upsets in the first round of the NBA Playoffs, watching a cool television show like Entourage with a big bowl of microwave popcorn, going to the gym and instantly seeing the results, renewing acquaintances with old mates and making new friends, prospects, going to gigs with the Murf Man (stay tuned), listening to Silversun Pickups, Burden Brothers and Modest Mouse. But most of all, I like hanging out with my family, pictured left at Rogan Josh's 22nd birthday shindig on Saturday, because they are great people and the only people to understand me sometimes.

The world (and a football team) in his palm ...

2007-04-18T21:41:00.000+10:00

Yes, I'm back. Thanks for asking. After three days of work, I'm like blah. Luckily, I had golf on Saturday and a Cats victory, as pictured, on Sunday to take my mind off the inevitable. People around the office comment on my suntan and Momma Blog says I have a happy, healthy glow. I don't see it, but I'll take it. I'll also take this too: a friend of mine from The OR is getting married in Hawaii later this year and I'm invited! So I'm there. I hope a few other Oregonites can make the trip. Who knows? The Jeweller and Murf Man may be in Florida at the same time and we can hook up in Hollywood. I'm all about making things happen!

It's been good being back for the most part, catching up with friends and showering family members with gifts galore. All were appreciative.

The fantasy basketball season ends tomorrow and I'm hoping that my team - Esteban Batista Rulz - will avoid finishing last. At least I have an excuse for my sudden demise over the last month. It's the same reason why I performed miserably on the links with Cameroon on the weekend. I'll hit the course this weekend, but the footy is ruled out with Geelong playing Hawthorn in Launceston, Tasmania. Anyway, I hope your not too bored with my normal life. But it's better than it being abnormal, I guess.

Leaving Las Vegas, sorry, Los Angeles ...

2007-04-12T11:50:00.000+10:00

Well, America, it's been fun. I'm sitting here in the international terminal at LAX paying a quarter per minute to say that's I'm nearly done. Check-in had a few dramas but I got there in the end. I see a sports bar in the distance, which is a fitting finale. Thanks to Cole's New World for letting me crash at his joint last night - the views of City Of Angels skyline had to be seen to be believed - and for the whirlwind tour of Hollywood. Before returning the hire car this afternoon I did a final bit of shopping and went to Dodger Stadium. For the uninitiated, that's a place where Major League Baseball is played. I've seen a few of those on this trip.

Anyway, it's back to you Richie in the central commentary position. As I've said, it's been a blast. Stay tuned for the recap in the coming weeks.

John So would be so stoked ...

2007-04-10T15:28:00.000+10:00

Plenty to report from San Luis Obispo where I'm staying at a neat little hostel but unfortunately not a lot of time to thrash out what I've been up to for the last few days. As mentioned, I successfully biked the Golden Gate Bridge yesterday and met up with another guy from Melbourne who has been on tour for more than a year. He has a cool blog and so many stories. I told him he should write a book. The views from the nearby Marin Headlands were amazing. I then hired a cool white Hyundai Elantra - I reckon I'll call him Harry Hyundai alias Fran Whitesans - last night and drove to Pacifica, which was as far as I could get because I was so tired.

Today, I took the famed Highway 1 all the way to here via Pebble Beach. I would like to one day (a) have the money to play there and (b) have the skills to play there. In that order. The drive all the way down was everything I imagined it to be and not good for a photographic addict like myself. Tomorrow, I'll probably head to Los Angeles for my final night in America. One of Murf Man's good mates is putting me up - I'm not sure if he offered or I just asked - so I'll probably see some of the sights before flying out on Wednesday night. It's been a great trip. And to think that exactly a month ago I had arrived in Honolulu.

Rorting the system that rorts you ...

2007-04-09T03:05:00.000+10:00

So, the computer at this Internet cafe crashed before and I changed terminals. Little did I (or the people whose invented this exorbitantly priced system I am now dodging) know is that when you change terminals, you get your entire balance back! So here's another post and another gratuitous picture from the game on Friday evening at AT&T Park, which is right near Berry Street. But I must go, I have a bike ride to enjoy. More later (if I can shaft the system again).

No eggs for me, just send money ...

2007-04-09T02:14:00.000+10:00

Happy Easter from San Francisco, just not from Lombard Street. That was yesterday and I have the picture to prove it. Unfortunately, a technical glitz prevents me from posting other photographs at this time. The weather is much better than in previous days. That probably explains why I avoided the rain and fled to Macy's at Union Square yesterday, which will please the Queen of The Porch to no end. Now I am in a pickle as to how I'll get my four business suits and a collection of other attire home. But I will worry about that another time. You're probably wondering why I bought so many. We'll, when you can buy a Ralph Lauren or a Donald Trump suit for $US120, it's a good thing. Overall, I saved more than $US1700. It's just I had to spend $US480.

Today, I'm going to take advantage of the sunny skies and do a bicycle ride along the Golden Gate Bridge. Yesterday, I saw the Bay Bridge, which is also pictured left, along with many other things. I made the most of my all-day pass on the cable car and avoided walking (most of) the steep hills. I really love this city. Last night, I had clam chowder at Fisherman's Wharf washed down with an Anchor Steam. Cousin Slugg will be disappointed to know it was served in a brown plastic bottle. I had ice cream at an awesome little neighbourhood shop, avoiding the overhyped and overcrowded Ghiardelli Square for the most part. I saw Darth Vader and a storm trooper pose for pictures. I worried about the many homeless people in the city. I basked in the glow of a Geelong victory, receiving countless text messages from home and abroad. I felt vindicated for missing yesterday's baseball game as Barry Bonds didn't play, seeing him the night before with more than 40,000 fans on a cold night, drinking cold beer.

And yes, I continued to buy more stuff.

So frustrated in San Francisco ...

2007-04-07T05:17:00.000+10:00

And that's only because of this slow and quite expensive Internet connection that doesn't allow me to check my e-mails. I arrived in Oakland last night, via St Louis and Los Angeles after leaving the safe and comfortable confines of 'Ome, the newest hostel in Hollywood, Florida. The King and Queen of The Porch hosted me for a little over two weeks and I enjoyed their company tremendously. Now, if only I could add some pictures! In short, I rounded out my stay with a visit with Murf Man to South Beach on Monday and then going solo to Fort Lauderdale Beach on Tuesday before boarding The King's unnamed 21-foot boat for a tour of South Florida's waterways north of Miami. Thankfully, the wind stopped shortly before my departure, making the tour a reality.

So now (and so frustrated) I'm in San Fran, staying at the Monarch Hotel that I have frequented in 2002 by myself and with Cousin Slugg in 2005. He will be happy to know that I had breakfast at Mel's Drive-In just moments ago and I reckon the same waiter who served us still works there. I wanted to have The Lumber Jack, but seeing it's Good Friday, I thought it was a good idea to abstain from half-a-pound of ham steak that went with the eggs, grilled potatoes and short stack of pancakes. I know Momma Blog would be proud. But you wouldn't know it's a religious holiday in these parts. The traffic still flows, the shops are still open and there are sporting events still on. And the only reason I'm going to the baseball this evening (the SF Giants host the LA Dodgers at AT&T Park) is because there is rain forecast for tomorrow afternoon, the home team's final game before embarking on a road trip.

Anyway, if I can check my e-mails and post the pictures that are worth at least 1000 words I'll try and update this here blog at the earliest possible opportunity, if only to please Poppa Blog. In the meantime, I hope you and yours have a happy Easter.

Good dog, good times and good beer ...

2007-04-02T01:49:00.000+10:00

Meet Rocky. He lives next door to King and Queen of The Porch. The adorable chocolate labrador is rambunctious in the morning, but he's a lovely dog and sometimes obedient, or is that simply the makeshift barricade to prevent Rocky from devouring a lovely plate of ham and eggs, made by the King, this morning? Rocky and I just returned from the park. It's easy to see why Topeekeegee Yugnee Park is known as T.Y. Park for short. It apparently is a Native American tribal name for "meeting or gathering place." Anyway, Rocky isn't so rambuncious anymore, but rather resting at home. He's tired.

What else has been going on this week? Well, Murf and I went to spring training for the Boston Red Sox and New York Mets in Fort Myers and Port Saint Lucie respectively. More on that later, although I have included another gratuitious car shot. I reckon the vehicle supplied by the good people at Enterprise Rent-A-Car looks like a girl should be driving it, hence the name Christine Chevrolet, alias Hollywood Champagne. I'm hoping to close out the trip in style and in something more manly when I hire a car in San Francisco next week for my Pacific Coast Highway leg. But that's nearly the end of the trip and I don't want to think about that yet.

As a token of my appreciation I took the King and Queen out for dinner last week. There was one proviso: we had to go to Outback Stakehouse, which was founded in Florida almost 20 years ago. Rather than trying to be original, I'll simply lift the company information from their website and say that it's "an Australian steakhouse concept open for dinner only. Although beef and steak items make up a good portion of the menu, the concept offers a variety of chicken, ribs, seafood, and pasta dishes". Well, Outback forgot to mention they also serve Australian beer! While they were out of most types, they still had Coopers Sparkling Ale and we almost drank them out of that too! The King is now a fan and has even mentioned he might join the Coopers Club. It was a great night. I devoured my steak, a 20-ounce T-Bone called The Melbourne. We also had a Bloomin' Onion, which, simply put, is an deep fried onion. We're going out for dinner now, meaning I have to go. Now. But I hope you'll be feasting on more of the bloomin' blog later on.

The pursuit of greatness, a sporting trifecta ...

2007-03-28T01:12:00.000+10:00

Many readers of this here blog - me included - believe Melbourne is the sporting capital of Australia, if not the world. But after spending a week here in South Florida, I have conclusive evidence that Miami could lay claim to such an important title. More renowned for its humidity and hurricanes, the place has recently been a whirlwind of sporting activity. Billed as a smorgasbord of sport, Murf Man and yours truly have spent the last three days watching the world's best exponents of golf, tennis and basketball strut their stuff.

Top left? That's the dynamic duo after watching Roger Federer at the Sony Ericsson Open in Key Biscayne on Saturday. Towering American teenager Sam Querrey provided Federer with some tough opposition at times, but the real foe was Florida's fickle weather. Yet the lengthy rain delays of more than two hours just delayed the inevitable for Querrey who lost the second-round match in straight sets.

But Federer wasn't the only numero uno in town. Top right? That's us again at Doral Country Club And Spa on Sunday, the final day of the World Golf Championships - CA Championship. Like many of the throng, we were chasing the tail of a tiger named Woods. While eight Australians battled the blustery conditions - the fast-finishing Robert Allenby and Geoff Ogilvy tied that spitting Spaniard, Sergio Garcia, for third place - all interest was on Woods. I've been to many sporting events in my time, but being just a metre away from the closest thing to God with a golf club was amazing. The weather, too, was awesome. I have few pictures to show of this event, as cameras and mobile phones were banned. I avoided checking mine in upon entry but wasn't game enough to take any shots until the very end. After all, no-one wants an angry Tiger.

I was just thankful about seeing two athletes in their prime, both on the same weekend. Woods, 31, has won 12 major championships, and Federer has 10 grand slam titles at 25. With the entree and main course already served, the little matter of dessert involved the larger-than-life Shaquille O'Neal and his Miami Heat, who hosted the Atlanta Hawks on Monday night. Aged 35 and regularly battling injury, the self-proclaimed ''Big Aristotle'' may no longer be spoken in same breath as Woods or Federer, but in this city he is, literally, huge. On a multi-storey poster bearing his likeness to promote his company, The O'Neal Group, he says he is glad he met Miami. After leading them to their first championship last year it's hard to find anyone around here who disagrees.

Shaq Diesel and the Heat rolled their way to an easy victory. Afterwards, it was the Murf Man's watchful eyes who spotted the Hawks' centre from Uruguay, Esteban Batista. Needless to say, it was a coup for The Life And Times Of JB to briefly meet the big fellow. He's not good enough to earn a spot on my fantasy basketball roster, so in order to honour this cult figure, pictured right, I renamed my team Esteban Batista Rulz. That's because, quite frankly, he does.

So fun in South Florida ...

2007-03-23T02:15:00.000+11:00

I disagree with the views of Poppa Blog that my correspondence here has been "light". I will say, however, that I am having a lot of fun here in South Florida with Murfuoso and The Jeweller's parents, King and Queen of The Porch, who have put me up in Hollywood's newest but as yet unnamed hostel. I have enjoyed their lodgings, their hospitality and their very friendly neighbours. And the beer always tastes better when it comes out of a vintage Coke fridge but can be hazardrous when given no choice but to drink it from Murfuoso's Collingwood stubbie holder, as pictured. More pictures of the whole gang, "living on the porch", on the next post. Like me, Murfuoso arrived from Austin, Texas, on Tuesday. He doesn't have a blog, but when you basically get paid to hang out with musicians and then write about it, who needs one?

I ditched grandiose (and some would say short-sighted) plans to drive to Key West yesterday, opting to sleep in then kicking back and relaxing after a whirlwind week in Hawaii. K-Beezer asked me via text message whether I liked the place. My answer would be an overwhelming yes. I am also amazed that Poppa Blog, after more than five years of owning a mobile phone, has magically managed to discover the advantages of text messaging since I've been away. That deserves public applause.

I said mahalo to Hawaii on Monday with a further look around the Big Island. Firstly, I escorted Jo, a lovely journo from England, who I met at the hostel in Hilo on Sunday night. She was hesitant to rent a car, so I offered to show her around and we talked shop and I saw some more lava flows. I said farewell to my best Big Island friend, Barry Buick alias Hilo Silver, and to English Jo before catching a rickety old bus to Kona. The three-hour ride was pretty much free, save for my generous $US5 tip, but to travel the 7 miles to the airport from the closest drop-off point cost me $US25. I still haven't figured that one out.

Despite having a great time, I thought I had missed the real Hawaii experience - traditional music, dancing and, of course, a lei. But then, as if by some devine intervention at Honolulu International Airport, I saw those same musicians and dancers who offered me a lei (not a lay, get your minds out of the gutter if it's there) after swinging my hips to the sweet tropical tunes in front of the many arriving and departing passengers. I'll do anything for a lei - or a picture opportunity - and the boys here were happy to oblige. I was just hanging loose, before visiting Captain Morgan at Parrot Bay and then boarding the second of four flights.

I managed to sleep most of the way from Honolulu to Oakland, but the trip from that latter city to Nashville wasn't much fun. With little leg room and being unable to get any sleep, my body clock was rocked as I travelled through North America's various time zones before touching down in the country music capital of the world and getting a picture to show for it. Now if I can only work on my guitar skills and/or yodelling. A fashion overhaul may also be required as these stinky yellow socks from my native Australia are just not going to cut it apparently.

I had a local favourite of barbequed pork, collared greens and potato salad - washed down with a local beer known as Yazoo - at the airport with a couple of paramedics from the Pacific Northwest. They had attended a conference and were returning to Seattle and my beloved Portland respectively. A defibrillator was on standby in the case of an emergency. Before I saw them, I met another guy at the bar who, with his business partner, owned 83 Subway stores in North Florida. He was also attending a conference for the fast food giant where their "mascot", the sub hungry Jared Fogle, was in attendance. Apparently he was at the airport but having lost all that weight from those delicious sandwiches, I didn't see him. A few hours later I was greeted at nearby Fort Lauderdale by Murfuoso and King Porch, the newest subscriber to this here blog. I hope he likes his moniker.

So it's around noon here in Hollywood, Florida, and the Murf Man and I will see what we can get up to this afternoon. There's no shortage of activities happening in the Miami area - the CA Championship golf tournament, the Sony Ericsson Open tennis tournament, the Miami Heat basketball team minus Dwayne Wade, the Hard Rock Cafe and Casino where Anna Nicole Smith breathed her last air. We'll just see where it takes us.

Far from being a dead end ...

2007-03-19T20:01:00.000+11:00

This picture here is quite symbolic, because a few days ago I literally thought I was going nowhere. Having just arrived in Hilo, I had no wheels and the car rental companies were giving me no love. But then I met Barry - my 2006 silver Buick Lacrosse CX for three days - and I have never looked back. I have made small work of the Big Island, but that doesn't diminish of what I have seen over a short period of time. Talk about a land of contrasts! One minute you could be overlooking rolling green hills into an expansive and deep blue ocean. Next thing you see is the brightest pink plant growing from a lava flow. Death Valley would take a beating but I'm sure the Big Island can live up to its name.

Life with Barry started on Friday afternoon and we travelled to the beautiful Akaka Falls on the way to Waipio. That's me at the lookout, above left. I managed to get there just before sunset before driving back to Hilo. On Saturday, I drove to Kona and was again mesmerised by what I saw on the way. Fortunately for me (and perhaps you) I only have 20 minutes left on the Internet - for today at least - so I'll spare you the details for now. I had a swim at Hapuna Beach State Park and I saw my name spelt out in white stones against the backdrop of a blackened lava flow. Breaking all blog convention, I'll just show you the picture. It's above right. I saw the sunset at Kona from my car in a traffic jam along the coastal road and I luckily secured accommodation in nearby Captain Cook.

I drove back to Hilo from Kona today via the Hawaii Volcanoes National Park, which is another story in itself if time permits. Earlier today, I went to the lowest point in the United States. I always thought that was at Key West, which I hope to visit when I'm in Florida. It was so windy and I didn't want a repeat of Dover, so I made sure my Jordan bucket hat was closely fixed to my head. Next stop? Florida! It's just via Honolulu, Oakland and Nashville. Insert sad smiley face here.

Aloha and mahalo from Hawaii ...

2007-03-16T16:59:00.000+11:00

Believe me, there's plenty of material from JB's three days in Hawaii. In short, I arrived here very early Tuesday morning, courtesy of Jetstar. More about them and their friendly staff later. I walked up-and-down Waikiki Beach before having a few beers overlooking the same stretch of sand. Then I went back to the hostel nearby where I met my roommate, a Texan named James. Consequently, we went back to the same bar that I ventured into earlier that day and drank, wait for it - Steinlager - before the barmaid joined us in having tequila shots. That's where my night went a bit hazy. I remember stumbling home around 3am. As Tenacious D's Jack Black would say: "Off to a bad start."

On Wednesday, Texan James and myself bumped into a couple of air hostesses who were on my flight and, in short, we hung out for most of the day, catching some rays on the beach but not daring to open the six-pack of Coronas I had bought from the ABC Store - no, not the national broadcaster - and risk a $US500 fine. I got a picture with Hawaii Five-O but they are a money grabbing organisation. Apparently the fine for jaywalking is around $US400. So we went down the other end of the beach to the aptly named Sand Bar and had a few drinks. After Texan James left, the girls and I tried to recreate the Jetstar starfish pose, similar to the television commercial, but without luck. Then we went out for dinner before they had to go, a very early night denying them the chance to hang out with me, JB, for another big night on the town. Despite missing out on going to Diamond Head or the North Shore in a hire car, it was well worth it in this humble man's opinion.

I did Pearl Harbor today as I figured I'd cop a bit of grief from Poppa Blog had I not gone. The overnight rain must have scared many away, as there is always, apparently, a long line to get in from very early in the morning. But when I arrived I just walked right in. It's hard to get excited about a war memorial. I mean, more than 2000 people died on December 7, 1941. It was very enlightening though. Never mind the fact that I'm smiling in this picture.

It seemed like I spent all day on the bus, going from Pearl Harbor to possibly the worst sporting arena of all time, Aloha Stadium, where the NFL plays their Pro Bowl every year. I know Montreal's Olympic Stadium might give it a run for it's money, but I'm not sure. The only reason I went was because it was very close to Pearl Harbor, but I shouldn't have even bothered! I had a look at downtown Honolulu before catching a shuttle bus back to the airport, which isn't that far from Pearl Harbor. Go figure.

So where to next? Well, I'm hoping to go on a tour of the volcanoes tomorrow before hiring a car and driving around the Big Island, as it is affectionately known. I'd love to get a game of golf in, although my playing partner, the defending Nedloh Cup holder isn't here, so maybe that will have to wait until next time. But I've had a great time already and hopefully you'll hear from me soon. Florida anyone?

And I just saw mouse run along the floor of this hostel in Hilo where I arrived this afternoon. But it's a pretty nice, albeit quiet, place. Even with me in town. Perhaps this little hamlet will give a brother a chance to have rest up for when I catch up with Murfuoso and the Captain in less than a week's time. Both have allegedly been on fire in Austin, Texas.

What Greg Norman and I have in common ...

2007-03-13T10:35:00.000+11:00

Today's the day! Believe me, with a little over an hour before I leave High Town to go to the airport, I have a lot more things of importance to do ahead of updating this here blog. But it was such a great long weekend that I feel compelled to tell my 812 readers about it who have followed me over my past 150 posts. It's been a great ride and there's more to come.

The Murray River may be dying but the border between Victoria and New South Wales - the areas of Yarrawonga andMulwala to be exact - are thriving, at least with regard to tourism. Everyone arrived on Friday night before some people went water skiing and tubing and nearly broke every bone in their body on the man-made Lake Mulwala before the first of four rounds of golf. To cut a very long story short, Cameroon won the inaugural Nedloh Trophy with some sensational and consistent play. Accused of dogging the Callaway handicapping system, I had a bad opening round of 132 on Saturday afternoon which gave me a handicap of 51 for Sunday morning's round of 111, bringing my score down to a very low 60. Similar to my weight, I'd like to get my golf game down between 95 and 105 and with that score in the book, I believed I was on target to give "Neddy" a new home. But on Sunday afternoon and yesterday morning my scores blew out handing the perpetual trophy to Cameroon. A big shout out also to PH Levels for winning the NAGA trophy. I'll let you Google that one. Congratulations to everyone for making the weekend a great success. We hope to do it again soon and I hope to give Neddy some better accommodation than he is getting at the moment.

Anyway, keep up to date with my travels right here. It should be a blast. I hope to be giving it four thumbs up, similar to yesterday when Cousin Davis and I saw this cool sign on the Hume Highway. I'd driven past on many occasions and always wanted to stop to a picture. I'm not sure what all the other drivers thought we were doing.

Who likes to party? We like to party ...

2007-03-05T15:30:00.000+11:00

Not much to report here. I attended a couple of parties on the weekend. One was a joint "warming of the apartment" for Murf and The Jeweller. The latter was also celebrating her 26th birthday. It was a great evening and we devoured not a glass-and-a-half of full cream dairy milk, but a bottle-and-a-half of Captain Morgan's famous spiced rum. It didn't seem that long ago that Murf took yours truly down to Dan Murphy's in Prahran to buy a case of the stuff for $420. I remember it well, it was January 12. Having left the treasured cargo at his apartment since then, I'm sad to report that there's almost none left. Bugger the water shortage. We need more Cap'n!

On Saturday, Murf and yours truly did some planning for Florida. We're both going to see some Spring Training and hopefully meeting up with The Jeweller's sister in Atlanta. Peace up, A-Town down! Then I went to another party. Needless to say, all I did was rest yesterday.

There's only eight days left! In fact, there's only four days of work remaining. Then the golf trip and then Hawaii. Aloha to that!

I can speak to you of memories and dust ...

2007-03-01T15:44:00.000+11:00

Not much to report here. Really. I'm getting ready for my trip, which is coming at a good time in the scheme of things. But it's always a good time to go on holidays, right?

We played poker last week and I got knocked out very early, my bluff fooling no-one. Unfortunately, not everyone was as radical as I was, so at 12.41am, the game was suspended after almost five hours with Cameroon and Poppa Blog due to recommence at another time. I'm sure there's an easier way to earn $45.

Played golf on Saturday and blitzed the front nine at 13th Beach, a beautiful links course that has become my weekend home this year. I also spent $250 on a putter that looks more like a space station than anything else. Cousin Davis followed my lead and that of Cameroon and also bought an Odyssey 2-Ball putter, so I'll take a picture of that during next week's golf trip and put it up right here.

You might see that I changed "The Song Of The Moment". Nothing against The Crayon Fields, who I saw with Peter, Bjorn and John (and Murf) on Tuesday night. I had just returned from covering a court case in Morwell and listened to Josh Pyke's album up and back. By George, it's a great CD. I also saw Snow Patrol last week. And that's about it, although you don't really believe me, do you?

Unhand me, goddamn me, Miami ...

2007-02-13T21:30:00.000+11:00

"Bouncin' in the club
Where the heat is on
All night, on the beach
'Til the break of dawn
I'm goin' to Miami
Welcome to Miami
...
Don't get me wrong,
Chi-town got it goin' on
And New York is the city
That we know don't sleep
And we all know that L.A.
And Philly stay jiggy
But on the sneak,
Miami bringin' heat for real"

- "Miami" by Will Smith

I like the former Prince of Bel Air's movies but I'm not a big fan of his rapping skills. However, I hope he's on the money when it comes to Miami, because in a month from today I'll be on my way to Honolulu before meeting up with Murf in Florida. We'll be staying with his in-laws - unfortunately The Jeweller herself isn't coming - just north of Miami in a place that has received some recent notoriety.

Hollywood, FL was the place where Anna Nicole Smith had her last breath and apparently one of the 9/11 terrorists called it home once. But let's not hold those things against the other Hollywood. The Jeweller said the place is "fantabulous''. And I finally get to blog about travelling again!

His shirt wasn't so lucky ...

2007-02-12T20:41:00.000+11:00

The Geelong Poker Collective came together officially at The House of K-Beezer and Cameroon on Friday for the launch of the inaugural season. Truth be known, the season actually started on January 9 when I took out the $40 kitty and since then we've had two other tournaments, including the Australia Day Classic late last month.

What was meant to be one game turned into a double header that finished with a few sore heads around 2.15am. I will be experimenting with a variety of different shirts until one proves to be a winner and therefore will be known forever as the poker shirt. Texas Hold 'Em has a grip of yours truly, although I haven't resorted to playing online ... yet.

Poppa Blog won the first match, Cousin Davis won the second, I came second on both occasions while Cameroon was the first to be knocked out on both occasions, hardly fair when you're hosting the evening and putting on a good spread. Luckily, he was able to watch The Devil Wears Prada with K-Beezer and Momma Blog. We've been informed it's a good flick.

So Round 2 (which is probably Round 5) is at Cousin Davis' house in two Fridays time with a bigger field. But hopefully these four will be united to beat the other and take the hard earned. One has to have a pretty solid excuse to miss poker night. Cousin Davis even dismissed a lady interest to make Opening Night, so the cards have been put on the table very early on. Watch this space to see who will be crowned the champion in the Geelong Series Of Poker.

Musing about a romantic killer ...

2007-02-04T12:13:00.000+11:00

I had a big week in more ways than one. In between the drama in and out of court, I attended Festival Hall on three occasions, all with Murfuoso, to see some big musical acts: My Chemical Romance (Monday), Muse (Wednesday) and The Killers (Thursday). Rather than have me tell you all about them, click on the links above to what the great man - no, not me - had to say about them. I'll just say I had a good time, and I got to meet The Killers backstage but there are no pictures as they wouldn't allow it!

Where's Wally? Geoff Clark is there, too ...

2007-02-01T13:48:00.000+11:00

Far be it from me to talk about my job on this here blog, but JB was caught up in the mother of all media scrums yesterday covering the conclusion of Aboriginal leader Geoff Clark's civil rape trial. In short, Clark - who once held the lucrative and important position of the now-defunct Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Commission - was found to have led two pack rapes of a girl shortly after her 16th birthday, himself still a teen, more than 35 years ago.

I don't want to really talk about it in this personal and therefore precious space, so you can Google his name to get the 411. But I liked the picture and have received much grief from colleagues and friends alike that a picture of me, tongue sticking out whilst trailing an impassive Clark following the verdict was on the front of today's newspaper. Apparently I was on many news services last night as well. It was very quick and some of the throng, myself included, were lucky enough not to be hit by passing traffic.

K-Lenko sent me this dispatch via e-mail today: "I love to see a reporter hungry for a story, licking his lips at the prospect of a scoop and getting his mug on the front of the esteemed broadsheet. Showed a couple of people in the office and all agree it was quite funny." Funny perhaps, but definitely worthy of a pay rise too.

KB's Gold, not bitter ...

2007-01-30T20:44:00.000+11:00

K-Beezer lamented the fact that there were many pictures taken at G-Squared and Astro Girl's wedding last week, but none on this here blog that featured the only sister of yours truly.

The molder of young minds even posted her objection. "(I) am sad that I haven't made an appearance on this here blog for over 12 months now! Yes 12 months! ... I trust that this case will be attended to at your earliest possible convenience," she vented.

Well, mate, this one's for you. Cheers!

A wedding (and some drinking) ...

2007-01-24T22:02:00.000+11:00

No wonder the Serbs were going crazy at the Australian Open tennis last week. They were drinking this stuff, which would burn the curlys off the most hirsute man's chest. Not saying that's me, although I hear some girls like hairy chests. The author had a wonderful time at G-Squared and Astro Girl's wedding last weekend, even though:

(a) It was on a Sunday
(b) JB had to work on Monday
(c) I had to stand for more than an hour at the ceremony, which ...
(d) Was half in Serbian

Still, I was reunited with the Black Pearl, my old Deakin mate (above right) from last millenium and the other regular fixtures (Cousin Davis, Cameroon, Can't Stop The Rush and K-Beezer to name a few, the latter giving me grief for not updating the blog). I couldn't get them all in a picture, so this one will have to do. Cheers!

Pump a fist in the air, like you just don't care ...

2007-01-10T10:53:00.000+11:00

All three love sports and are happy enough to clench a fist in the name of this here blog. In the vein of ESPN's "On This Day", images of George Foreman and Pat Rafter join me in celebrating the special date, January 10.

Rafter, a wonderful ambassador for his sport as well as good blokes everywhere, like me, retired from tennis on this day four years ago. Foreman, like me, celebrates his birthday today. He might be more well-known for his fat grilling machine than his prior boxing career these days, but I'm convinced the old bloke, who turns 58 today, is still fighting.

As for that other old bloke? Well, the glass half-full says he is now half of Foreman's age, turning 29 today. Conversely, he also embarks on the first day of his 30th year. Gulp. Thanks to everyone who have contacted me so far. Apart from fielding calls and responding to text messages, I've been fairly quiet. I'm just getting ready to go out for lunch with the Blog Family before tonight's big poker game with the fantasy basketball crew.

For other interesting things that occurred on my birthday, check out Wikipedia, which ironically began on this day six years ago as part of Nupedia, before becoming a separate site five days later.

Here, cowboy bars and dance clubs don't exist ...

2007-01-08T22:32:00.000+11:00

And to think life was getting boring. Remember when I met legendary singer-songwriter, John Vanderslice, in a Seattle record store in September 2005? Maybe the picture, above left, will refresh your memory. Well, I got to see the great man open for The Mountain Goats at the Corner Hotel last Friday. As you can see, above right, he's changed a fair bit since then. As for me, well, I look pretty much the same. I hasten to add that both the shirts I'm wearing were purchased in the Emerald City.

I flew solo to the gig, but caught up with Starbate there. She was impressed with JV, who was in turn impressed with my employer, the esteemed broadsheet, calling the newspaper the best in Australia. I was just impressed to hear him again, although he -again - declined my request to play "Me And My 424". JV told JB later it was just too hard to perform live by himself, but he was happy to sign another album for me. As you can see, I'm now the proud owner of two personally signed CDs from JV.

JV was also impressed by the interview he had with Murfuoso, my mate who wrote an awesome story, perhaps on my persistent insistence that the paper give some serious ink to an unknown and underrated muso. Murfuoso, hosting a party for his American sister-in-law, was unable to attend the show, but I went from the party to the gig and back to the party again, which stopped a couple of hours before the break of dawn but after the consumption of many gin and tonics.

It was the start of a big weekend and the beginning of my final week off before I return back to work. On Saturday, I attended a farewell party for the Rayman (pictured right) who heads back to Scotland in less than a week's time. My New Year's Resolution of trying to maintain an optimum level of health and fitness meant I abstained from beer - as I have since January 1 - which could have helped me compete in the Rip To River yesterday morning, had I just got to bed a little earlier. A gale force wind persisted for most of the arduous 10-kilometre run along the beach from Point Lonsdale to Ocean Grove, home of the District Attorney. According to the local tabloid, his time was 65 minutes and 21 seconds, much better than my time of 71 minutes and 6 seconds, good enough for 116th position. That's the positive spin. The reality, however, is that I only beat three other guys in my age group. A rusty start to the year but in all honesty, I was happy enough to not stop yesterday and continue with my Cliff Young shuffle as the conditions, which also included driving rain at one point, were truly awful, but apparently much better than last year's stifling heat. Be thankful for small mercies.

My hit-and-run hole-in-one ...

2007-01-04T21:54:00.000+11:00

Happy new year! While one of my favourite bands in the whole world, Death Cab For Cutie, wrote a song about January 1 and not feeling any different, I have returned from my summer soujourn a changed man.

You see, during the Blog Family holiday on the south coast of that other state, New South Wales, I renewed an affair with the game of golf and in the process joined an exclusive club.

I hit a hole-in-one! Just in case you missed it, I HIT A HOLE-IN-ONE!

No, I'm not making it up! My brother-in-law, Cameroon, as well as my cousin's boyfriend where there to witness this amazing spectacle. The shot was far from textbook: a five iron hit with an amazingly low trajectory from around 150 metres out on the 5th hole at the Catalina Country Club that, from memory (it seems all so vivid now) bounced on the front of the green and rolled and rolled and rolled ... until it dropped in the cup, earning the high fives from my playing partners and anyone else in the vacinity who heard my amazing screams. It was unbelievable! But I didn't return to G-Town a millionaire despite purchasing $50 worth of lottery tickets I purchased the next day.

Having a hate-hate relationship with the game of golf for a number of years, I think I'll take it a bit more seriously in 2007. You know, go out and buy some new clubs. It's not just because of the ace. I improved considerably in a few days. On my first outing, I hit an atrocious 146, living up to the NAGA award I won so many years ago. But on December 29, 2006, which will now forever be known as JB's Hole-In-One Day, I went for 113 and later followed it up with a 121 before the dawn of 2007. No, I'm not going to challenge Tiger Woods (even though I can beat him on his computer game that I've spent so much time on, earning more than $US50 million in the process). But, hopefully, I can look like less of a goose than I have in the past - hence the NAGA award. I'll never be short of playing partners. Cameroon and Cousin Davis are obsessed with the game as is AC Literally who, literally, is due back soon.

Overall, it was a great trip. I went sour on Batemans Bay on the corresponding trip a couple of years back because developers had turned this former coastal hamlet into something else entirely. Maybe it was because I spent so much time on the golf course as well as a fair bit of time playing poker and Tiger Woods, but it has earnt an upgrade in my books. But with my grandma's house - which I forgot to add looks over the golf course - being up for sale, who knows when I'll be back.

Tourist sights in NSW were taken in during the ten-plus hour trip to and from The Bay. On the way up on Boxing Day, yours truly said hello to the famed Dog on the Tuckerbox, five miles (eight kilometres for the metric folk) outside of Gundagai. On my return I paid homage to the HMAS Otway in Holbrook, which has since earnt the name "The Submarine Town" despite being nowhere near the ocean.

The buzz about his haircut (and camera) ...

2006-12-24T20:55:00.000+11:00

Merry Christmas Eve! Alas, there are no greeting cards this year, just a lonely post on this here blog. The firefighters have received an early present and hopefully the recent downpours will make the grass and gardens greener again, although keeping a bucket in the shower is here to stay.

Anyway and to the point, I wanted to wish the readers left out there - even the ones who have posted things less than savoury this year - a merry Christmas and all the best for 2007. I'll be travelling with the Blog Family up to the south coast of New South Wales on Boxing Day and enjoying some of time off before returning to a new year and, no doubt, new challenges.

Merry, merry, quite contrary ...

2006-12-20T14:14:00.000+11:00

I must admit I'm a bit over the so-called festive season this year and it's only December 20. There seems to be an endless supply of partying to commerorate the beginning of Christmas and the end of the year, which often means free drinks, which, far from being the panacea of all ills is really the reason for them. I can't remember the start of when we started celebrating Christmas, but it seems to get earlier every year. Last week, I had two gatherings involving the free flow of the frothy stuff. There's another one this Friday. All of the time catching up with people - not that they are really going anywhere - and drinking, which spells disaster for the headline and the waistline, can severely mess with one's head. Here are some pictures from last week's end-of-year bash, held at the fabulous Forum (not the one in Los Angeles) in the company of some of my likeable workmates. Needless to say, it was one of many Crown Lagers I consumed that night.

In a bid to avert disaster in the latter category, I have been to the gym three days in a row. Finishing early from work has been a pleasant surprise and I'm able to fit snuggly into some favourite clothes of mine again.

The (hopefully) last end-of-year shindig will be this Friday at a lawn bowls club in suburban Melbourne. Paraletic Paramedic is also having some birthday drinks tomorrow night as well. In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy the start of my holidays as I won't be back at the esteemed broadsheet until January 15. What's the Blur song all about? Woo hoo?

Subject lines can be subjective sometimes ...

2006-12-17T20:02:00.000+11:00

You might have noticed that I changed the song of the moment yesterday. It's from a group called Midlake (pictured right) who have recently assumed the band of the moment, as I found out last Sunday when I saw them at that favourite musical haunt of mine, The Corner in Richmond. While I had to leave early - one of the downers of not having a car and living in a satellite city like G-Town - it was still an awesome show. I went by myself, which I sometimes detest, but realise it occurs a fair bit because of my eclectic taste in tunes.

I had planned to go with my wingman Murfuoso but he dropped out to see one of Oasis' Gallagher brothers. It was cool to bump into Starbate there, have a few beers and watch Midlake as well as Melbourne group, The Art Of Fighting. They are also pictured right, while the opening act, Laura Jean, doesn't get a picture because she wasn't that good. Her incessant ramblings before the beginning of each song drove me insane. The Art Of Fighting were surprisingly very good, which makes me regret that I gave one of their CDs away to a friend a while back.

And on the topic of music, I'm currently listening to (Not So) Single Sarah's vast collection of music, which is actually called "MP3 Music For Jamie". The disc is one of a pair she sent me from the OH. I haven't got around to personally thanking her for the generous gift, but I know she visits this here blog quite frequently. After all this time, she'll be quite surprised that I got it but not shocked that I love it. On rotation at the moment is some Ben Gibbard solo stuff. You should know who he is.

Another Sunday night and another chance to reflect. That's if reflection really means having nothing to do, which has been the case this weekend. The Ashes gives sports-loving folk like myself the excuse to be able to sit in front of the television all day long and watch cricket, which is what I did at Murfuoso's crib yesterday. And it's now much easier for to see what's on the idiot box, as Poppa Blog got some fantastic device installed on the computer that allows us to watch TV at the same time we surf the Internet. Fantastic.

Today I went to the gym to arrest some bad habits that regularly show their face at this time of year. I'm a bit health conscious and, as of late, I've been reverting to the old me of not watching my consumption of food and beer, which I admit is sometimes tough to do. My punishment? Three hours in the gym this afternoon. My weight? It's not alarm bells yet as I'm hovering around the 105-kilogram mark but I'd like to look better.

At this point, I'm going to give a shout out to a couple of friends who are a bit down on luck. Both shall remain nameless but they are in my thoughts.

An excellent stocking stuffer ...

2006-12-06T22:11:00.000+11:00

It's that time of year.

The people who bought you the concert ticket now bring you the cassette and the church sign. This is significant because, I'm a fan of the making and receiving of mix tapes. And it's nearly Christmas. Despite what the sign says, or what it doesn't say, is that Christmas starts at church.

I might even be getting some songs in the mail from the OR (Rivjuando) and the OH ((Not So) Single Forever) as we speak. An early Christmas present perhaps? And as we speak, like right now, I'm listening to the party shuffle on iTunes. On all topics Apple, I bought a new iPod the other day - a Shuffle for the bargain price of $49. That's not to say that my old trusty, bulky one is on the outer. Far from it, now being more than half-full (as opposed to half-empty) with the grand total of 7450 songs on it! I just need some songs when I exercise in the sweaty confines of the gym.

But what I really want for Christmas - apart from my two front teeth - is a new digital camera. Either that, or world peace. Many shenanigans took place over the past weekend and I have nothing tangible to show for it apart from memories and good times. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

On this day ...

2006-11-30T16:41:00.000+11:00

It was exactly one year ago that I came back to Australia after the trip of a lifetime. Anyway, I just thought I'd say that. Tegan and Sara might ask where does the good go, but at this point I've got to ask: "Where does the time go?"

Over and out ... for now.

The vote is yours (and the lines are open) ...

2006-11-20T21:09:00.000+11:00

The weekend was spent resting up for a big month ahead. There's been very little - of substance - happening in The Life And Times Of JB. I can't talk fantasy basketball because my team, Sex Panther By Odeon, is coming dead last having been decimated with injuries. It's also a faux pas with the female readership. The females? Well, there's nothing to speak of. Yet. The beard? Gone. Again. Being back in G-Town has put paid to my concert going activities lately and I've been in a general malaise anyway. A funk. I think it's called routine. I'm not a big fan of it. Big surprise that.

So I thought I'd keep things fresh and post some pictures that didn't make the cut over the past few entries and, in turn, review my Spring Racing Carnival this year by seeking a little audience participation. Feel free to talk about the amount of facial hair and the potential state of inebriation in the above two pictures. The one on the left was taken at BMW Caulfield Cup Day and the right as you may recall was at the buck's party held for Neil Steel in conjunction with Emirates Stakes Day in Flemington. Far from this being a brand dropping blog. Which hat do you like better? How about the choice of ties? And, finally, how about the pose? Madonna gets few mentions on this here blog, but as she would say: "Strike the pose!"

It never gets old here. Yes, sir. I eagerly await some of your replies. Maybe.

Picking the trifecta - beer, babes and betting ...

2006-11-12T19:25:00.000+11:00

He could quite possibly have been the biggest jockey in the history of the sport of kings. And had Neil Steel jumped on the back of one of the horses at Emirates Stakes Day yesterday at Fabulous Flemington, who knows what would have happened. What did occur (or what I can remember anyway) was an awesome day. I'll say from the outset that KL would have lamented being a late scratching. The day started at 11am and finished - for me anyway - at 1am this morning. So? What happened?

Well, around 30 men met at the Carlton Central in Geelong (confusing, I know) and got on the bus to the big smoke for the buck's party of Neil Steel. I've known the guy since our teenage years but in recent times Rogan Josh has also become great mates with him, mainly through their love for shooting and four-wheel driving. They also work at the big lion.

I'm happy to report that we were all well behaved. Sort of. Rogan Josh was disappointed to pick the winner of race 3, only to arrive at the TAB just seconds after the horses had bolted. But it was a pretty good day for younger bro considering he lost his new phone - probably through the hole in the left pocket of the slacks I lent him - only to have one honest punter call my mobile and return said Nokia back to its rightful and relieved owner. He's in the background speaking as the Rayman and yours truly pose for one of many picture opportunities.

It might have been an omen, but I picked the winner of race 4 which virtually paid for the day. While the beard I have grown during my holiday resembles more of a five-day shadow, the winner of that race - Five O'Clock Shadow - helped me collect $115 that allowed the drinking to continue.

Apart from the buck's party, I caught up with a couple of people from the esteemed broadsheet, including Geezer, who has made several appearances - from both here and abroad - on the blog. Unfortunately for him, he had to go to work after race 7, so apart from not being able to have too many drinks, he also had to put up with a tired and emotional yours truly who was definitely roasting in the afternoon sun and buzzing, especially after also picking the winner of race 5, Magnus. Again, another tidy little earner of around $35.

Not surprisingly, the group were denied entry into a Maribyrnong pub after the races, so instead we went down by the banks of the river of the same name nearby and had a few more beers. For a sum of $70, Big Tone swam a couple of laps of the river and lived to tell the tale. I think. Sadly, my camera died at this point. You'll just have to believe me.

A couple of my older married mates - Hilly and Grassy Knoll caught the train up from Geelong and it was good to catch up with them before the bus ride home where I feel asleep against my better judgment. Not that anything happened, it's just generally not a good idea to get a kip with a group of inebriated mates. I couldn't have been too tired though, as I walked about seven kilometres home from Geelong in the early hours of this morning in a futile search for a late-night snack. Kardinia Park was open, so I went in and had a look around. On the subject of the Cats, I saw The Future yesterday. Like many, he looked to be having a good time.

Apart from yesterday, it was a fairly uneventful week. I finished my photo album of my California trip today. It was looking at my trip that I began pondering the lack of material for the blog as of late and thinking that I needed to travel again in order to have many more stories to share with all of you. Hopefully, yesterday's assorted tales will keep everyone entertained. And perhaps even amused.

Things to do in Oakland (when you're bored) ...

2006-11-07T22:48:00.000+11:00

We waited ... and waited ... and waited some more.

Something had to keep Slugg and I entertained as the train from Oakland to Santa Barbara was five hours late. I don't know much about the bronzed man holding my pack of Fritos other than he was a prominent civil rights campaigner. Allegedly. Even though it's now almost one year later, I only mention this less-than-memorable anecdote because I started today on a photo album of my 10-day trip around California with the self-proclaimed Slugger. Needless to say, this happy snap (and 300 others) will form part of the massive project.

And didn't I just mention something about needing to be kept entertained?

Insert headline here ...

2006-11-04T12:57:00.000+11:00

Hello! Is anyone out there? It hasn't been so much as a long time between drinks but rather a long time between posting on this here blog. Apologies for the lack of updates. I'm reporting from Richmond on my first day of holidays but my second-last day of housesitting in Tigerland. I've just returned from kicking the footy with Murfuoso at The New Pie Park on Punt Road. Yes, it's November and Collingwood's home turf, but it's also a good way of keeping fit, staying in touch and having fun. As usual, Murf was a sharp-shooter in front of goal where my kicking, like my week in general, was interesting but indifferent.

There's been plenty happening lately, some is fit for blog consumption, while I have neither the time, patience or energy to talk about some other stuff that's been going on. My female readers apparently want to hear more about what's happening on the romantic front but I can report that in basketball parlance, I became a free agent earlier this week. That's the way it goes, I guess, or to quote singer-songwriter Josh Rouse on his song Life: ''Life is good/Sometimes it's bad/It has its ups/It has its downs/Just sing a song and feel all right/Cause that's just life." So in an empty house, with just Muggie the cat and a large school of fish, I may belt out a song or two.

Or maybe not.

On that note, say hello to another passion: my fantasy basketball team!

The eagerly awaited fantasy basketball draft was held last weekend and I was satisfied with the way the picks fell. My first round pick, Kobe Bryant, played his first game today after a preseason hampered by a troublesome knee but I got my boy, Brandon Roy, thus abandoning two long-held strategies of not drafting injured players or rookies. It's only early days yet, but I hope to have a good season.

To quote Ice Cube, it was a good day. When I arrived the beers were on ice in a supermarket trolley and there was quite a selection. Pizza and a variety of snack food followed. Some chose to get into the spirit of things by wearing jerseys, like yours truly. Here I'm pictured with KL -sporting an Andre Miller jersey from his days as a Clipper - and C-Bas, who would have drafted Dirk Nowitzki had he been able to. Instead, he just had to settle for wearing the German's jersey.

And it was an act of friendship (as opposed to being a dog act) that saw me catch the last train from Geelong to Melbourne to attend AP's 30th on the same night. It was a good show, although I'm not sure what Blondie had in mind with the glove. This picture was taken around 3am (which was 4am because of daylight saving) and shortly before AP was taken home by a member of the constabulary. Don't worry, she's not in trouble. It just so happens that she's going out with a copper.

Until next time, be good or be good at it.

The Life And Times (Of The Mates) Of JB - Volume 1 ...

2006-10-24T15:18:00.000+10:00

This has been a long time coming, so where do I begin? If one was to start in alphabetical order, then Aaron would be first in the book. You may remember when I broke blog convention earlier this year and named the artist formerly known as AC Literally. That was because the guy, who I have called a mate for more than a decade, was going through a torrid time fighting cancer. Well, AC literally has done a Lance Armstrong and showed a lot of guts and lived to tell the tale.

Indeed, his roller coaster year culminated in the news last week that he got engaged in Orlando, Florida. No, not to Donald Duck, but to EI, which I think stands for Extraordinary Intelligence (the happy trio are pictured left at Disneyworld). I cracked up when he told me he bought EI's engagement ring at a place called Berry's Jewellers. Since the founding of Berry's in 1897, the company has apparently been committed to attaining the highest standards in the quality, design and manufacture of jewellery. "This ethos has kept us in good stead for over a hundred years and is still true to this day," their website says. But I especially liked what AC had to say: "I know the name holds integrity." By the other pictures that didn't make the blog, it looked like they had fun in Florida. I want to go Stateside - again.

I can't talk about the Sunshine State without mentioning my main man Murfuoso (five words beginning with the letter M), who can now officially claim to be a Floridian after he and The Jeweller got hitched this year. While I'm not Mrs Murfuoso, I've been hanging out with this cat a helluva lot lately. Last night - Live At The Chapel - we saw Augie March and tonight we are going to see Wolfmother.

In racing parlance, The Jeweller, I understand, is a late scratching, and for the third night in a row I'll be going to a concert. It all started with Angels And Airwaves on Sunday night at Festival Hall. Anyway, Murfuoso went to the Collingwood best and fairest award the other week and got this photo with Magpies coach, Mick Malthouse. It pains me to even mention my most hated footy team, let alone put a picture up, but credit where it's due. Respect.

On the topic of footy (I like how this is flowing), I heard from the self-proclaimed Slugger who saw what many Geelong fans didn't see a lot of this year - a victory. Slugg wrote that he "woke like a kid on Christmas Day, full of excitement about heading to The Oval", where the Cats were to play Port Adelaide. Apparently, the first beer - Cooper's Sparkling Ale - was opened at 10.30am before Slugg and friends found a hotel and then the ground where Slugger managed to get a photo with newly-departed captain Steven King (right). Definitely worthy of a post.

"The sky was grey but hopes were high as the Cats huddled on the ground ... the next few hours (we) saw streakers, high flying attempts, the odd shoving match, the blooding of new players and victory to the Cats," Slugg wrote. "I found out this morning that due to the streakers and skirmishes the game was stopped 10 minutes early ... wouldn't have known this at the time."

Oh dear! After the game there was a bit of kick-to-kick and the day got better when Slugg went back to the pub and saw the Aussies beat England in the cricket, before he - to paraphrase D. Rogers - pulled up stumps and went home to bed.

Excuse me as I kiss the sky ...

2006-10-17T21:33:00.000+10:00

There hasn't been much to write about here at Blog Central (well, there has, but I'll fill you in later on), so I thought I would note there's a little less than two weeks until the Fantasy Basketball Draft for this year's competition, The League of Masculine Love. I'm predicting many of my female readers have just turned off. What is fantasy basketball, I hear you ask. Well, click the link, go on, click it.

If having to decide who will form part of my team, Great Odin's Ravens, isn't hard enough, then consider the thought that the draft is on at the same night as AP's 30th. What a dilemma! I missed the draft last year as I was overseas and was duly punished, scraping all season long to finish equal seventh out of the 10 competitors who line up every year. My best finish as a seven-year fantasy baller was a second placing in 2002, beaten on the last day of the season! I'd like to pick Blazers' rookie Brandon Roy (right), but only if the price is right.

Some say that if I applied myself to other facets of my life (including work) with as much vigour as I do fantasy basketball then, alas, I would be a world beater. Maybe I am. But for now, I'll be happy to live in a fantasy world (right) and hopefully take the title for the first time. Some are flying from interstate to be at C-Bas' house especially for the festivities of draft day - October 28! There will be plenty of celebrations, contemplations and commiserations. And maybe a few beers, too!

Good golly, Mr Meldrum ...

2006-10-10T13:38:00.000+10:00

I know what you were thinking. JB was full of bulltish when he mentioned of going around to Molly Meldrum's house for Murfuoso's unofficial buck's party a couple of months ago. Well, here's photographic proof. Yes, it's pretty easy to doctor images in this, the technological age, but you'll just have to believe me, alright?

It was one of many funny pictures to lob my way via e-mail today. The others involve Murfuoso, Cricket Australia (not the organisation, rather the man behind the lens above) and that rabble known as the Collingwood Football Club. I have been thinking for a while about launching an irregular segment called The Life And Times (Of The Mates) Of JB to pass the time and when I do, you'll see them. Your nominations please.

And it was exactly a year ago that I was in England after escaping London for a weekend of R&R in Brighton. Darling!

Like his bride, the groom wore pink ...

2006-10-03T15:42:00.000+10:00

Beers were consumed and fun was in order. There was also a wedding to be had. Sort of. Mr and Mrs Murfuoso had returned from their New York nuptials last month for an Australian encore, held last Friday night - Grand Final eve - in the genteel surrounds of Port Melbourne. We posed for a photo, a la Rivjuando and Soule Sista last August and it was agreed that I continue to play the third wheel well!

As you can see (below left), there was more posing. Geezer probably has never played the role of hooker in the front row as he's more of a prop forward in the mold of Peter Tunks. There were also jokes shared (below right). A likely story, indeed! Murfuoso's sister I think was asking if any of the guys worked in the media. We're still checking.

Murfuoso is quite shocked at the choice of pictures used. Moments ago, he said the images posted exclusively on The Life And Times Of JB had depicted the night as a ''pathetic, drunken and tawdry affair''.

''It was not like that at all, it was quite refined,'' he said. ''You have just gone tabloid on me, Naomi Robson style ... I've been staged here - set up!"

Far from me to anger the 637 readers I already have, let alone a great mate, here are some more pictures below.

Don't pick the wRONg one ...

2006-09-28T09:20:00.000+10:00

Ron Sexsmith versus Ron Burgundy. Yes, it's a tantalising contest, I know, like Sydney versus West Coast. And while I would normally say the Anchorman (pictured above right with a fiery jazz flute) would win hands down, I was blown away last night at the Corner Hotel in Richmond by the other Ron. Last name: Sexsmith. The District Attorney joined me out of chambers for a few drinks and to listen to this cherubic singer-songwriter and pretty awesome guitarist from Toronto. Truth be told, I only own one of his albums, Retriever, so I was a bit unsure of what to expect. But it was great to hear many new songs for the first time. I'll be sure to go out and add more of his music, including his new album, Time Being, to the 7054 tracks I already have on my iPod.

An eclectic mix of people attended last night as well. Ron Burgundy might have cleared his throat when he said diversity was an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era. On that topic, never have I witnessed a more diverse gig at the Corner. The DA and yours truly could have been the youngest people there! A great night.

Another great night was had last Friday evening. Rogan Josh ventured from Geelong while Benson Hedges (who really smokes Peter Jackson but that's another point entirely) travelled from the Goulburn Valley to join Murfuoso and myself to see The Living End at The Palace in St Kilda. Last time I visited that venue we were joined by Molly, Bert and a few friends, including Murfuoso who got us upstairs for drinks with the band despite having drunk more than enough by then. Roll on!

I've left you in suspense long enough ...

2006-09-21T18:39:00.000+10:00

The beard is gone. Long live the beard. There's no photographic evidence yet to prove it. Bidding bon voyage on Saturday afternoon it's now sorely missed. Rest in peace, beard. In other news, Blog It: Songs Of The Moment, Volume 1 is done. Now, for your viewing pleasure only (drum roll):

1. "Concrete Bed" by Nada Surf (April 4, 2006)
2. "A Decade Under The Influence" by Taking Back Sunday (April 9, 2006)
3. "The Execution Of All Things" by Rilo Kiley (April 16, 2006)
4. "California" by Rogue Wave (April 19, 2006)
5. "Major Leagues" by Pavement (April 23, 2006)
6. "Pushover" by The Long Winters (June 6, 2006)
7. "Wish I Was Dead Pt.2" by Shout Out Louds (June 11, 2006)
8. "Not The Same" by Ben Folds (June 16, 2006)
9. "Waltz #1" by Elliott Smith (June 27, 2006)
10. "Heaven Here" by Dashboard Confessional (July 4, 2006)
11. "Pulling Up Stumps" by D. Rogers (July 12, 2006)
12. "Your Heart Is An Empty Room" by Death Cab For Cutie (July 17, 2006)
13. "So Stop!" by The Helio Sequence (July 22, 2006)
14. "Surrender" by Billy Talent (August 2, 2006)
15. "Running From The Rain" by Thursday (August 8, 2006)
16. "Distortions" by Christopher Walla (August 15, 2006)
17. "Half Right" by Jimmy Eat World (August 30, 2006)
18. "Sister Jack" by Spoon (September 11, 2006)
19. "Trance Manual" by John Vanderslice (September 15, 2006)
20. "Save Your Day" by Jose Gonzalez (September 20, 2006)

I've just got to find a way like Smoosh and get them on a CD! Happy trails!

"London Gentleman, or wait. No, no, no. Hold on. Blackbeard's Delight" ...

2006-09-15T17:29:00.000+10:00

Great Odin's Raven! By the Hammer of Thor! I'm more in love with Anchorman than ever before and like Ron Burgundy and the rest of Channel 4 News team looking for pandas, these upstanding gentlemen were on a hunt of a different sort last night at a function at St Kilda's famed Espy. Much fun was had and many beers drunk. Or were they drank? Let's just say they were consumed. You know Gilbo and here's one of his mates, a nice bloke by the name of Damo. Too bad my many nicknames don't end in O. Another late night for JB. 2am.

Anyway, this entry is really just an excuse to post a picture of Blondie, my esteemed colleague at the esteemed broadsheet. After continued lobbying (or rather nagging) that she should be on the blog, I decided to comply with her repeated requests for publication and last night she looked resplendent, basically because she's fallen for the long arm of the law. It's great to see the girl also known as AP smiling again. Not that she wasn't before. She knows what I mean. As you do too.

Beard watch - day 14 ...

2006-09-14T19:13:00.000+10:00

Take one last look, my friends, because on the weekend it will be gone, gone, gone. The fully-fledged beard has been a talking point around the office - it pronounces the jawline apparently while making me look much older - but quite frankly it is starting to itch. Thanks for your input. Like Grant Thomas it's here today, gone today.

Confessions of a bearded burbler ...

2006-09-11T19:04:00.000+10:00

No, it's not Rex Hunt reporting live here from JB HQ. Yours truly may be sporting a temporary beard but apart from a love of footy and facial hair, I really can't be compared to the great man as I don't have a booming voice and I haven't paid women in return for extra marital favours. People have asked why I've decided not to use a razor or a lawn mower to fell that flourishing facial forest and I've responded with a number of answers ranging from "can't be bothered" to ''it's a tribute to my friends with fur on their faces". You know, that travelling twosome, Murfuoso and Geezer, as seen on this here blog, with beards.

But aside from coming back to a clean house, Murfuoso returned to work today after a four-week break Stateside with a wedding ring but minus the trademark beard. Meanwhile, Fitzroy North's most famous English resident, Geezer, proud owner of the Gilbomobile, had returned from Byron Bay without two things starting with the letter 'W': women and whiskers. Or is that the letter 'F': females and fuzz? The letter 'B': babes and bristles? Whatever it is, it's another first, I'm sure.

Anyway, so here I am, stuck in a whiskered wilderness. Does it stay or does it go? You can leave a comment - I haven't decided to stop people from doing so ... yet. It's not a life-or-death decision and things could be worse. Consider Ronald McDonald. If having your ear licked by a drunk journo in one of his suburban hamburger restaurants during the early hours of the morning wasn't enough, I now see Ronald McDonald could be sent to jail. Now, I don't know, but maybe he needs a beard. Pronto. With fries. And a Coke.

It promises to be a good show ...

2006-09-05T14:37:00.000+10:00

As the ticket suggests, this here blog comes to life for one night only. Tonight! Don't miss what will most likely be a night of fears, cheers, tears and beers. And it's free. Free! Now, does anyone know exactly where the Carlton North Concert Hall is located?

Seriously, this is a joke, so don't lob on my doorstep (or that of Houston, Texas') this evening in the anticipation of an extraordinary and exciting event as I most likely won't be home. Most likely, I'll be feeding Geezer's housemate cat - long story. Extraordinary? Yes. Exciting? Hardly.

Credit goes to M-Dogg way, way, way up north in Alaska put me onto the Concert Ticket Generator. Like life, have fun with it!

Hoping for heaven in 2007 ...

2006-08-30T18:19:00.000+10:00

It's been that sort of year. I'm not going to talk about the season that was meant to be. As for Saturday's game, well, you can just read about it. I will say, however, that I had a good day, travelling down the freeway - I'm like so Melbourne now - with The J-Man from an earlier post. He's the one holding the sign that says "Ball" in this picture if you didn't guess. Before the match, we had fish and chips before watching the game from the seats normally occupied by Poppa Blog and myself. P-Blog, as he likes to be known, missed his first game at K-Park for the year and the other season seat holders were probably wondering what the hell I was doing inviting an opposition supporter along. Especially in the first half.

Indeed, it was a game of two halves. Melbourne had demonised Geelong, but then we moved up to the terraces at the main break and everything changed. The J-Man caught up with his family and I saw The Real K-Lenko (pictured with JB, above right) and his girl. All that was sour turned sweet. Steve Johnson was sublime and Nathan Ablett showed his potential. Even Tom Lonergan found form until he got crunched, later losing his kidney and put into a coma. Geelong's season, which had been on life-support for much of the year, was also over when the siren sounded. The draw with the Demons (pictured so eloquently by yours truly, above left) put paid to a promising season. Time of death? 4.45pm.

With this posting and that season in the books, here are some other sweeping dispatches: I'm trying to put the best tracks from Death Cab For Cutie on one CD. Any suggestions? On the topic of music, the sampler CD of great tracks proposed in the last post is neatly coming along and I've even changed The Song Of The Moment ... My Carlton North Experience is also going well, although I'm spending money like it's going out of fashion on you know what. I'm worried that my weight will soon balloon like Shawn Kemp so it's back to the binge drinker's diet of rocket salad this week for me. On a serious note, this is my fourth day without a drop of the precious amber fluid after a huge week. So what happened? Wednesday - Tapas and countless beers with Geezer. Bedtime: 1.30am ... Thursday - Dinner and drinks with my law-abiding colleagues here at the esteemed broadsheet. Bedtime: 2.15am ... Friday - Geezer put on one of his illustrious yet infamous dinner parties right next door in North Fitzroy where he invited people who basically didn't know each other and a great time was had. Bedtime: 3.15am ... Saturday - Footy then "a corporate box" at The Arena to watch the Geelong Supercats beat the Canberra Gunners in a grand final of some description. Beers consumed and spirits smuggled in (juvenile, I know) before heading out in G-Town. Geezer just happened to be there. Bedtime: 3.15am ... Sunday - Recovery, but not before I returned to Melbourne with Geezer and his rugby-playing, beer-swilling cohorts.

I know, there are some general themes developing.

You can find me at the crib. Your crib ...

2006-08-23T20:18:00.000+10:00

Life out of a suitcase continues for yours truly after handing over the keys to the Murfuoso Mansion in Melbourne earlier this week and going north like 22 Jacks. His good mate from school, pictured here with JB on the night that five young lads had beers with Molly Meldrum and lived to tell the tale, picks up the slack from here out.

So after 10 days living it up like Ja Rule, I drove the Gilbomobile, which is more Ford Falcon station wagon than Goggomobile, to Carlton North where I'm a hop, skip and a jump from the number 96 tram on Nicholson Street. Houston, Texas - currently somewhere in Europe with his French lass - left a note to the Big Fella (that would be me) and a couple of momentos of his humour. The next six weeks will be fun, starting tonight with Geezer where tapas and hopefully some Spanish beer is on the menu.

It's also been a barrel of laughs catching up with Cousin Slugg, who heads back to London town at the end of the week. The old 403 crew (JB, the District Attorney - out of chambers - and Cousin Slugg) caught up for a few beers and pizza. Much delight basking in the glow of yesteryear in South Melbourne was had. Safe travels Slugg and catch you on the flipside.

And a week after The Other KL (who makes her pictorial debut on this here blog) and I decided to hang ourselves with my Geelong scarf after an insipid performance against St Kilda at Telstra Dome, the self-proclaimed Slugger and JB saw the Cats beat Sydney at KP last Saturday. There were jubilant scenes, but it's still a case of season over rover. Too little, too late.

The electorate demanded answers ...

2006-08-12T10:49:00.000+10:00

Something new? Having too much fun? I don't know. I'm finding it's hard to write without using pictures from current events and having to work for a living, while many people I know are globetrotting around the world, despite terrorism showing its ugly face again. So to illustrate this dispatch, I'm using some images I secured from Cousin Slugg who's in town for a couple of weeks. The pictures are from the missing disc of cruising around America's west coast. Thumbs up to that, because like Nevada, JB has vision, all 28 years of it!

So what's been happening?

I had a major win last week, getting two stories about visiting various baseball stadiums published in the esteemed broadsheet. There is a main piece of about 1500 words and a breakout of around 250 words. It was such a huge thrill and - combined with my name in big, bold letters - I also got a picture byline for the first time. Maybe I could become a full-time travel writer, jaunting off to various parts of the planet and get paid! I'm going to try and recall a few stories from last year's adventures and see how it goes.

I just got my hair cut today - look out ladies - and I'm about to hit up the gym before heading to Melbourne for the first of my two housesitting gigs. It's one year ago today (August 12) since Rivjuando and Soule Sista got married and I'm looking after Murfuoso's awesome apartment as he's getting hitched on Wednesday to The Jeweller in Central Park, New York. Congratulations to both couples for these important milestones.

Then I'm housesitting for Houston, Texas in Carlton North, Victoria from next Sunday. It gives me a chance to immerse myself in Melbourne culture and escape Sleepy Hollow for a while. Geelong, the football team, continues to deflate and disappoint, but like many of the baseball fans I wrote about last week, I still go back for more. Tomorrow, a group of like-minded Geelong supporters - there may also be a Sainter in the mix - will go to Telstra Dome, which might provide some picture opportunities at least. It could also be the end of the season as I know it.

Other general musings: I filled up the work car (not the hire car, as pictured) with unleaded today at $1.38.9 per litre. Multiply that figure by 71 litres (I'm surprised I didn't have to flag down passing motorists a la Gary Ablett Junior a few weeks back) and you have a hell of a lot of money. Glad it wasn't me paying ... I'm really loving the new Billy Talent CD. Unfortunate title (Billy Talent II, which followed their debut CD, titled Billy Talent, duh) but a great sound ... On the topic of music, I'm thinking of making a mixtape, like Rivjuando and I did back in the day, and calling it Blog It: Songs Of The Moment, Volume 1. It will be a classic ... My diet has gone south and subsequently my weight is travelling to the northern reaches. Hence the gym, although my membership there runs out on Monday ... Work is going pretty well at the moment, I seemingly have a bit of direction, until February at least. I hope it won't take me that long to update my blog. But until next time ...

Sadly, Macca's doesn't sell Melbourne Bitter, even at 2am ...

2006-08-01T16:47:00.000+10:00

I couldn't milk the Death Cab For Cutie picture any longer, so here I am early last Friday morning with my main man, Ronald McDonald. Thanks to AP for eating all my French fries and sending me this picture from her mobile phone.

To quote Custard, I used to think we had the technology. Well, now we do!

It was the beginning of a long and eventful weekend which included:

Going to the Northcote Social Club - again - on Thursday night for Emma Heeney's album launch. A superb night where I was joined by The Truth and later AP, who was good enough to let me crash in the 'Borough.
Good company and good beers on Friday and then having to catch the last train home to Sleepy Hollow.
The Truth's Unofficial Bucks Party on Saturday, which included beers at Molly Meldrum's house. And yes, Molly was there.
The return of Cousin Slugg and celebrating his visit with pizza at Armando's and a few ales.

The only bad part of the weekend was it had to end and the fact Geelong's season is now all but over, losing to the Kangaroos in Canberra by five goals. At least I can take solace in some amber fluid with Ronnie Mac. Stay tuned and I'll flesh this out with some more pictures and some insightful commentary. The only question is whether this beats my awesome weekend last month.

Their drummer had left to pursue his career. The guitarist, meanwhile, was sacked ...

2006-07-21T14:52:00.000+10:00

Look up the world 'cool' in the dictionary and you will see this picture.

Ladies and gentlemen, here's another blog exclusive! You see, Death Cab For Cutie have sacked their guitarist and drummer and replaced them with The Truth and yours truly following the interview, which followed Murfuoso's story last week. We have the facts and we're voting yes. I also have the picture, which I will put in the photo album. Nice use of the lingo.

But don't worry, Death Cab (right) are far from dead and Chris Walla and Jason McGerr are still in the band, hopefully for many years (and albums) to come. Even though we named our non-existent band - The Hacks - the other day, Murfuoso told me he can't play an instrument and my 15 years playing guitar belies the fact that I'm really nothing more than a three-chord wonder. Despite my job as a journalist, my songwriting ability is more John Elliott than Elliott Smith.

Seriously though it's exactly one week on, I'm still buzzing. This is cool.

Where to start? Well, the truth would be good ...

2006-07-17T13:23:00.000+10:00

Another extended weekend of JB is almost in the books and this one would rate pretty highly in the history of all-time good weekends. Sounds a bit far-fetched? So, what happened? Well, below is the (edited) transcript.

Thursday: After work, I catch up with the now not-so anonymous Starbate for a couple of drinks at Cookie. It turns out she's from Adelaide and we have some mutual friends. Knowing that she's been known to check out the blog on a few occasions, I'll just say that apart from her avid support of the Port Adelaide Football Club, she's a great person, having a great taste in beer (we each had a Cooper's Pale Ale) and music. On that topic, we picked up one of her friends from the airport after Cookie and then went to the Northcote Social Club to see Angie Hart, formerly of Frente, and D. Rogers. Yes, D. Rogers of The Life And Times Of JB "The song of the moment" fame! Even though we arrived a tad late, he played said song of the moment "Pulling Up Stumps" (which has since been replaced) and his own rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems". I love it when singer/songwriters go gangsta. Think of when Ben Folds met Dr Dre in Portland last year. We meet D.Rogers afterwards and it turns out he's a Geelong lad who follows the Cats and is playing in Sleepy Hollow next month. Can it get any better? Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it can. Read on.

Friday: Nutritionists probably don't recommend it, but I started the day with a mixed kebab on Turkish bread as I made my way via tram to meet The Truth for The Interview. We converged on an inner-city hotel to meet two members of one of my favourite bands of all-time, Death Cab For Cutie. I'm not going to tell the story again about how I got into them, you can just read about it here. So we spoke with lead singer/guitarist Ben Gibbard and bassist Nick Harmer for almost 45 minutes about a variety of things, including blogging, for an interview to go on the esteemed broadsheet's website this week. Still on a massive high, I killed the time between 3pm and 7pm, drinking coffee, reading and buying four CDs for $15 from Missing Link. Turned out that Death Cab's guitarist, Chris, produced two of them (Travis Morrison's "Travistan" and "The PEEFs" by The Revolutionary Hydra). I informed him of this at an inner-city bar after an awesome concert (even though we missed the first six songs) and after The Truth and I went backstage. Backstage! There, we chatted with Chris as he drank tequila from a paper cup, not to be confused with "Champagne From A Paper Cup", one of the band's early songs. I asked him what it's like living in Portland, what he's listening to at the moment and when his solo album is coming out, all the time trying very hard not to blur the line between fan and stalker.

Saturday: It might have been that Seattle's finest were in town, because Melbourne's weather was similar to that of the Pacific Northwest as I made my way back to Geelong, getting on the train with two minutes to spare. I enjoyed a quiet day in, watching various football codes (Manly won) whilst partaking in pumpkin soup and other homemade treats. I can't recharge a drained wallet but I do my best to rest up.

Sunday: Geelong disconnect the Power of Port Adelaide at Kardinia Park. Just as well Starbate and company didn't make their way down the highway. Poppa Blog comes through again with the tomato soup and the Cats scratch and claw their way to a hard-earned victory in front of 19,149 interested onlookers. I think I see The Captain and Mrs Watson in the crowd, but I can't be sure and I don't want to embarrass myself. Later, I catch up with Cousin Davis for pizza at Armando's and then we watch a DVD. Cousin Slugg calls home from London and as always, he's excited.

Now: I'm here at home in my pyjamas, getting ready to go to the gym. It's 1.23pm. Where are you? More importantly, are you still reading?

Ray Warren asked you, nicely, to shut the gate ...

2006-07-06T21:24:00.000+10:00

Apparently it was Milton Berle who said: "If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door." Well, young Milton didn't play rugby league, did he? Put simply, I'd like to tell Milton to build a bridge and get over it because had he built a door, it's quite likely that a second rower like Big Willie Mason would have barged straight through. These two guys, however, wouldn't hurt a fly.The pinnacle of this rough and rugged sport, known as State Of Origin, was decided in an unlikely place last night at Melbourne's largest phone booth, Telstra Dome. We suffered nosebleeds.

For more than a quarter of a century, Origin has pitted Australia's two northern states - New South Wales and Queensland - on a football field and literally let them kick the absolute bejesus out of each other, much to the amusement of the paying public. As discussed in the pre-game post, Paraletic Paramedic, Trouble and myself each forked out $35 for the ultimate of grudge matches. You could tell there was no love lost between the sides or this terrible twosome! I sat on the fence.

Paraletic Paramedic would later lament that the game was not of a high quality, but that could be due to him wearing a Blues jumper. NSW lost the unloseable. It was an awesome finish to a great game and series and you can read about it here. Girls, even if you hate league, or sport for that matter, you will find the accompanying picture quite hilarious, if not a tad mystifying and perhaps even quite disturbing.

Here's something else that girls won't like: photographs of other girls, scantily clad in tight black hot pants, gyrating to the sound of music - look hard enough and you might see Mary Poppins or the District Attorney.

One joked that these girls were hired from the men's clubs a short stroll up the road that we sadly didn't visit. It was one of many highlights, capped off by the jeers for The disHonourable Prime Minister, John Howard. All in all, a good night was had. Even Ray Warren said so.

The Internet, bringing people together ...

2006-07-06T11:24:00.000+10:00

Call me Nelson, as this is my 111th post.

A bloke who goes by the name of The Captain posted on this here blog this morning. He commented on matters close to the heart. Not booze and beauties but ball sports. I'm still amazed at how The Life And Times Of JB is growing at an exponential rate and is being beamed to the far reaches. To places like Geelong. Who knows how or why.

That wasn't a question, by the way, just merely an observance but it posed some serious issues: Is The Captain really a captain? Is he Captain Morgan in disguise? If so, ladies and gentlemen, we have royalty in our midst. I told The Captain that Captain Morgan's spiced rum is the best alcoholic drink this side of Jamaica. While on this topic, this beautiful beverage is now available at Dan Murphy's. I have bought four bottles in the last month.

One of my anonymous bloggers "outed" herself the other day. Turns out she actually knows Cousin JC and a work colleague of JB. The world is much smaller than you think. And we both like Death Cab For Cutie. How cool! Only eight days to go until the concert!

I went to the State Of Origin deciding match at Telstra Dome last night with the Paraletic Paramedic and his brother. I was discussing a possible moniker for the latter when PP replied: "He's trouble." Stay tuned for some pictures, including some of Trouble, hopefully later today.

I'm flying on a jet plane ...

2006-07-03T09:49:00.000+10:00

Well, this time last year I was anyway - probably in or around Singapore for my layover (wanting to go to the bathroom but not having enough guts to squat) before getting ready to go to London. My for the start of five months of fun, which was actually the catalyst for the birth of this here blog.

Ahhh, the memories!

The baby Blazers ...

2006-06-29T16:38:00.000+10:00

Are they the future? For the sake of basketball in Portland, let's hope so.

In the opinion of this Blazer blogger, the only bad news to come out of the NBA Draft was trading Sebastian Telfair. Do you think I wore his throwback jersey (in public and not for show) that I bought last year at the NBA Store in New York? Ugh!

And if you follow The Association, this could, quite possibly, be one of the funniest things you will ever read!

But hail my work colleagues ...

2006-06-27T14:15:00.000+10:00

In other news, Geezer had a party on Saturday night and great fun was had. The Truth (formerly Four Example) and Young Beezy (my new alias) had fun witnessing Geezer tear absolute shreds off a guest of Lithuanian descent. He told said Lithuanian: "I'm sure your mates think you're a good bloke, but you're acting like an absolute twat".

Those words, delivered in a beautiful British accent, were thoroughly endorsed by most attendees. Geezer, who wouldn't be out of place in England's front row, simply put God's gift to women where he belonged. In his place. We couldn't contain our excitement in this photo op with the esteemed broadsheet's Aussie flag.

And this from the mouth of Geezer, putting in the hard yards at work last night: "I took the liberty of consulting the CIA world factbook on Lithuania and came up with the following stats ... it has an "inadequate" phone system ... a population of 3,500,000 (so what are the odds of meeting three and them all being twats? There are probably 3,499,997 wonderful Lithuanians) ... life expectancy for males 69.2 years." Thanks to Geezer for that insightful commentary and also the hospitality. Thanks also to The Truth for the varied selection of beers - Budweiser and XXXX Gold.

Ladies, Geezer is available but The Truth is taken after announcing his engagement to a lovely lady from Florida last week. They're getting married in New York's Central Park in August. Awesome stuff!

The night for me ended at 5.30am after singing Elliott Smith songs with Geezer's housemate and liaising with other female guests. It was a big day having earlier attended Princess Ori's party in the city and attending a working bee at the new/old place with Poppa Blog, Cameroon and Cameroon's dad. K-Beezer provided coffee from Gloria Jean's and sandwiches from Subway but, unfortunately, no picture opportunities.

Boo referee ...

2006-06-27T12:32:00.000+10:00

Thanks to some dodgy officiating, the Socceroos are out of the World Cup and we all feel like this guy - or girl - in Germany (above left). As I said, we're doing it differently in year two. It's hard to get up at 1am on a school day and then have your sleep ruined by poor refereeing that has plagued this tournament. I'm not jumping on the bandwagon, but I have a huge sense of pride in this team and the way they have played. Maybe the old guy (above right) was responsible for our sudden demise.

It's off the hook ...

2006-06-24T18:54:00.000+10:00

Greetings my fellow bloggers and fans of Harry Kewell! Just touching base with y'all. I'm not sure what the cause is - maybe it's the District Attorney's liking for lycra - but the hits just don't stop. Traffic has increased by another 15 per cent in the past few days to the site, so I must keep everybody amused. Any suggestions?

Black power (part two) ...

2006-06-21T14:13:00.000+10:00

Don't let my smiling face or the humorous attempt at Action Man Figurine's reverse pose fool you, Let's just say from the outset that I'm peeved!

Woke up this morning to see the esteemed broadsheet's special four-page liftout supposedly listing all the 9500 competitors who ran on Sunday. My name - one that features almost daily on the newspaper's pages - didn't appear and neither did my finishing time or final placing. I have a bad feeling it's not going to appear on the race website either later today.

Competitor 5263 - the District Attorney - finished in 2753rd position with a respectable time of 61 minutes and 27.08 seconds for the 10 kilometre race and I finished just after him so it's safe to say I beat last year's time of 64 minutes and 4.04 seconds for 3154th position by a considerable margin. It would have been nice to have an accurate comparison, however. Next year, I'm aiming to beat an hour and if I wore a watch this time I think we could have done it pretty easily. At the moment, I'm feeling quite good. Must have been the tights, which I have spared you in these photos, although the DA boosted traffic to this here blog by 16.8 per cent yesterday alone. True story. AP also did pretty well in the five kilometre race. Ms 9882 finished in 625th position with a time of 28 minutes and 32.55 seconds.

Overall, as you can tell by the pictures, it was a fun day. The DA and myself stayed to sign autographs afterwards for anyone who wanted them, taking the seats of St Kilda players Aaron Hamill and Nick Riewoldt who just looked so happy to be there as per their contractual obligations.

The day didn't end there, it's just the photograph opportunities did. The Elliott Smith tribute show - the first gig I ever went to on my own - later that evening was awesome. I enjoyed the passion of all of the musicians who did justice to the timeless songs they performed. I caught up with awesome Melbourne singer/songwriter Emma Heeney after the show and applauded her rendition of "Everything Means Nothing To Me" over a beer at the bar. I also saw two members of Hueco, Symon and Julian, both who I know from my days covering the County Court. No, they're not criminals, but rather were judge's associates back in the day and have now have taken a break from their careers in the law and justice field to see whether their music will take them into another interesting livelihood. I asked them to put their version of "Speed Trials", complete with the electric drums and guitar and cello (courtesy of B) on their upcoming CD. Hopefully, my somewhat inebriated request won't fall on deaf ears. They (not my ears) have a website, but it seems to be down at the moment.

I had a few beers with them after the show (along with this drunk Canadian chick who was quite annoying despite her fine taste in music) before Symon, his girlfriend and Julian came to a work colleague's establishment, Ilk Bar in Collingwood, with me to watch the World Cup match between Australia and Brazil. Alas, the Socceroos lost 2-0 and I got "home" to my housesit in Richmond at 4.30am, sleeping through to 4.30pm. Just as well I'm on holidays, but sadly that ends tomorrow.

Then the scenery changes ...

2006-06-20T17:17:00.000+10:00

I told you JB was going to mix it up on the blog this year. No longer do I have to appear in a picture for it to be displayed up here! Hot off the e-mail are some photographs that (Not So) Single Forever sent me from my American high school reunion over the weekend. Word on the street is that this picture was actually taken for me! I feel so special! You should know this alkaline trio, but in case you don't from left to right is G.I. Vic, (NS) SF and my other friend, The Other G-Squared, who ironically shares the same birthday as moi. I didn't attend obviously and it makes me sad looking at these pictures that I wasn't able to show, but on the other hand, I spent some quality time with them last year. Thanks guys!

As for the weekend's events in my neck of the woods, including The Age Run To The G, you'll just have to tune in tomorrow or feel the judicial wrath of the District Attorney aka Action Man Figurine in reverse pose - proudly sponsored by Mount Franklin - who wore the same gear last year, namely a contradictory outfit of black lycra and a grey wifebeater, if you're into that sort of thing. Had he washed his clothes since May 2005? What was JB wearing? As I said earlier, stay tuned, for the pictures and, more importantly, the results. No doubt, these photographs will prompt a volley of talkback from the dwindling number of readers out there. And they said the blog was going downhill!

Geelong's newest tourist attraction ...

2006-06-17T21:55:00.000+10:00

Remember England and when I visited Stonehenge and its ghastly ghetto equivalent? Well, Poppa Blog and I created a temporary rock formation out the front of The Blog's new, yet-to-be renovated home after moving several large pieces of bluestone from the back yard of the new hacineda earlier today. Indeed, it was tiring work. Hard and heavy labour. I thought some people, the early followers, would see the funny side of this so I decided to put it up. Laugh as you wish.

I'm heading to bed now. I have the big run tomorrow and it's my hope that the DA and I will finish in under last year's time of 64 minutes ... without stopping! I just got off the phone with AP and she's keen as well, so hopefully I'll have some cool pictures to post up. Word.

Far from a boast, here is another post ...

2006-06-16T18:05:00.000+10:00

Not a lot happening in or at The Life And Times Of JB as you can probably guess. I've enjoyed my last three days off by doing not a hell of a lot. Today, I got a haircut and all the girls will be flocking to me and my sweet new do. You can either say "hell yeah" or "yeah right". I have also been cramming some last minute exercise for The Age Run To The G this Sunday. I know I'll be a bit sore and, in hindsight, I believe a little bit more preparation is needed. Stay tuned to see how I fare, along with AP and the District Attorney.

It's hard not to be trapped in World Cup fever at the moment. Like most Australians, I stayed up until the early hours of Tuesday morning to see the Socceroos beat Japan. It was pretty awesome. Given that I have some extra time off, I think I'll head to Federation Square early Monday morning to see the Brazil match. Anyone with me?

Along with the run and the soccer match, Sunday promises to be huge, with the Elliott Smith tribute show at the Corner Hotel in Richmond that evening. The Corner is an awesome venue and The All-American Rejects will be playing there later this year. I have seen some quality acts there over the past few years, including Death Cab For Cutie (before they made it big here), Hot Water Music and Alkaline Trio.

I'm getting ready to paint the town a light red this evening at The Barking Dog with a few peeps but in the meantime, I thought I'd update y'all on what is happening in my life. Is there still anyone out there? Apparently, the blog can be either friend or foe. Luckily my time here on this cold winter's evening isn't going to waste - I'm also updating Poppa Blog's iPod with the Bee Gees' "One Night Only" currently playing. Classic stuff.

Be very, very quiet ...

2006-06-11T16:27:00.000+10:00

Have blog, will write - just not sure what I can say. Yes, it has been very, very quiet. Ho hum. And no photographs either!

I've got two more days at work before a week off. I hear the blog brethren shout: "More holidays for JB? He's always on vacation?" Not true. I've been busting my buttocks and other anatomy starting with the letter B and now firmly believe it is my duty to relax and take stock. The assignments have been long and arduous. It doesn't get much worse than being sent to Miss Universe Australia last Friday night, does it? As a result, I missed a Geelong victory but plied myself with free booze after having to watch 19 bikini-clad babes strut their stuff on a catwalk clad with rose petals.

It's a tough gig.

General musings and turning 100 ...

2006-06-04T18:30:00.000+10:00

M'learned friends.

JB's just kicking it here on a lonesome but lovely Sunday evening in the Melbourne suburb of Richmond where I have been housesitting for a month for colleagues of the Paraletic Paramedic. It's been fun being a bit closer to work and visiting the various pubs in the area. I've been hanging out with some old friends and others in the new crew. And, like now, I've just been by myself. Yes, just me.

I'm currently streaming the Barsuk Records Songwriters Show from April 2005. Awesome. Do yourself a favour and have a listen. Earlier, I kicked the footy with my good mate and fellow good music aficionado, Four Example. It used to be a common thing for us to have a kick at Fawkner Park on a weekend for a couple of hours before I went overseas. We both had hoped to see Dashboard Confessional this week for a not-so-secret show, until the lead singer decided to cancel owing to illness. The next big gig is Death Cab For Cutie in mid-July at The (fabulous) Forum and I'm hoping Four Example can help me out there. No pressure, though!

Let's not talk about footy. I believe I made the right call yesterday when I chose to miss my first game this season after going to the first nine games, instead choosing to hang up here. I could have jumped off the James Harrison Bridge yesterday into a chilly Barwon River after learning Geelong relinquished a 54-point lead to West Coast. I had set the VCR to tape the game after watching a very promising first quarter but wasn't too disappointed when I came back to see it didn't record at all. Instead, I saw the Melbourne Storm beat the Sydney Roosters 20-16.

What else? I'm still working (like there is an alternative - insert smiley face here) and I reckon things are going good. Having been back for more than six months from my trip, I can now confidently say that I don't believe I suffered a post-holiday hangover as much as I did last time. I'm looking forward to going to Geelong tomorrow for work and then visiting my family over a nice dinner - not to sound too demanding, but Momma Blog has been put on notice!

We're gonna party, like, it's your birthday ...

2006-05-31T10:05:00.000+10:00

What came first? The first anniversary of this here blog - today, May 31 - or 100 posts over the past year? Well, sad to say that I'm stuck on 99 blog entries but thrilled that year one is in the books.

I'm off to the country now, but feel free to post a birthday greeting. That includes you, Knackers Knackerson. Year two might be a little bit different but JB's acerbic wit will hopefully continue to entertain. Thanks for the support and I'll see you on the flipside.

Over and out.

Rounds 7,8 and 9 - This could be the last post ever on the Cats ...

2006-05-29T10:50:00.000+10:00

I hear you ask: "What the hell is that?" Well, that's a colleague's attempt at taking a picture of me with a cardboard cutout of St Kilda champion Robert Harvey, a two-time Brownlow medallist, with a camera phone. Harvey had broken the record of all-time number of games played for the Saints who ended up losing to Geelong in one of the worst games apparently ever played just over a couple of weeks ago.

I can't really comment because (a) Geelong snapped their four-game losing streak and (b) I snapped my five-and-a-half year streak of not getting invited into the esteemed broadsheet's corporate box. Well, that night - which now seems so long ago - had it all. The Premier and Deputy Premier were in attendance as was Eddie McGuire's brother, Frank. I managed to drink enough beer and scoff down plenty of food and before you knew it, my super night in the "Super Suite" was over. I still managed to walk from one end of the city to the other with my colleague to a karaoke bar in the city. All in all, good times were had.

Going into the following Saturday then, I'm not going to say spirits were high, but I thought I'd see my boys put in a good showing against Collingwood. How wrong I was. I don't normally leave games early, but Cousin Davis and G-Squared joined me on a tram back to Richmond with a quarter to go as the District Attorney and Pauly Paul stayed until the end. The only highlight was getting the picture (above right) of Cousin Davis, myself and our other cousin, former Victorian wicketkeeper, Darren Berry. As you can see (above left), I was far from amused with the action on the field.

With that in mind, I decided not to take any pictures from Geelong's most recent loss against Richmond at KP on Saturday. The seemingly dream season has gone from bad to worse. Our coach, Mark "Bomber" Thompson, reckons we can still make the finals, but like many of my brethren, I'm not convinced (however, I'll still put $5 on some attractive odds in the hope of that happening). In the meantime, I think I'll keep my camera in hidden view for the rest of this season. In fact, I'm almost certain that I won't go this Saturday owing to some work commitments, so my nine-game streak will end.

I have enjoyed the posts by many of the anonymous bloggers out there who obviously take great pride in stirring me up when my team plays badly. It's all clean fun and in good spirits but happening much too frequently - that is, my team is poorly performing on a weekly basis - for my liking.

I do blog about stuff other than footy ...

2006-05-18T22:46:00.000+10:00

I mentioned Sydney a couple of days ago. I went to the harbour city a couple of weeks ago to get away from the miserable weather of Melbourne, although my departure picture, right, makes a complete liar out of me. With a few days of time-in-lieu up my sleeve, I decided to mark the five months of being back from my five month trip abroad with a five-day hiatus. Too many high fives, I know. Flying Jetstar from my local airport at Avalon, I was ready for my first real journey for the year, excluding the work trips to Halls Gap and Mildura, of course.

I have a real love-hate relationship with Sydney, but I always enjoy catching up with my uncle and aunt and they sure know how to put on a good show. Concrete Dave is your typical Aussie beer-drinking larrikin who just bought himself a cement truck and his wonderful partner of more than 20 years, Geez Louise, works in finance in Sydney's CBD. I arrived at their Bondi apartment in the city's eastern suburbs around 6pm on Thursday, April 27, and we soon went to the Bondi Diggers and Golf Club, where $3.20 schooners, expansive views of Australia's most famous patch of sand, Bondi Beach, and Asian food (yes, at an RSL Club, I know) was the order of the evening. In conjunction with some of Concrete Dave's friends, we spent $50 on raffle tickets and left the place soon after with three meat trays and a fruit tray. It was, pardon the pun, a fruitful trip.

The next day, Concrete Dave had some rare time off work so we ran some of his errands before meeting Geez Louise in the city for yum cha. A couple hours later and a $150 bill for lunch, Geez Louise went back to work and I persuaded Dave to join me on a trip up to Sydney Tower. The view was unreal and I took many pictures, including this one. Regular visitors to this blog know that I visited a number of skyscrapers during my time abroad. It was tough to convince the uncle to have a beer, who admitted that it was also his first time up the tower despite living in Sydney for more than two decades, so we then paid $7 each for a Crownie to cap off the visit. Then it was back to Bondi, most notably the Diggers for more beer although dinner wasn't necessary considering we had the lunch of 500 million Chinese earlier in the day.

I had big plans for Saturday: go for a run to Bondi Beach before capping the session off with a dip in the ocean. Alas, it wasn't meant to be and while Geez Louise travelled far west to see her dad, I watched countless Simpsons episodes with Concrete Dave before we went to the "you know where" and had a few "you know what". I can also confirm that betting on horses also took place. Considering Geelong's performance later that evening, I would have been better staying in Bondi and doing my dough than embarking on a two-hour excursion out to the city's west. It's Concrete Dave's belief that everything you really want is in Bondi and there's really no reason to leave. Hard to argue with that.

However, we ventured out for a few hours on Sunday but not too far to watch some more football. There's a lot to like about Geez Louise, including the fact she is an avid Manly fan, just like me. You either love Manly or you hate us, there's no in between. The mighty Sea Eagles played archrivals, Parramatta, at the beautiful Sydney Cricket Ground - the site of five premierships during the 1970s and 1980s and many great contests between the teams - and the three of us had some of the best seats in the place. I'll just say it pays to be connected and leave it at that. Like Telstra Stadium, it was my first time there and better yet, Manly beat the Eels 23-22 courtesy of a Matt Orford field goal just minutes from full-time. The esteemed broadsheet's Sydney twin has all the details. Scarf wrapped around my neck and a few beers consumed (I'm sorry that a pattern is emerging here) it was time to go back to Bondi for some dinner and some much needed rest, but then came the news that the Tasmanian miners were alive. You know the rest.

So my Sydney sojourn was almost over, but not before I finally got down to Bondi Beach. I had to do some exercise after a weekend (and some) of general excess. Monday would be a dry day but not necessarily a healthy one despite my sandy stroll. Indulging in some fast food, I then got suckered into buying two-dozen Krispy Kreme donuts at Sydney Airport (for the family, of course) before flying home to Victoria - The Place To Be apparently - where Poppa Blog and the rain welcomed my return. It was a great trip but to quote The Get Up Kids, all good things have endings.

Rounds 5 and 6 - Hardly time for not-so-funny subject lines ...

2006-05-16T22:45:00.000+10:00

You didn't think I was going to blog on about every Geelong game I've been to this year, did you?

Well, until last Friday's game, there wasn't much to write about on the footy front. As you will read below, Geelong put the finishing touches on a four-game losing streak. And yes, I saw every game. I even travelled interstate to watch them. Ouch!

Apologies for the lateness of my entry. You would have also thought that coming up on the one year anniversary of The Life And Times Of JB (May 31) that things would have become more efficient. Sadly not.

Anyway, blink and you might miss them. Here are the, um, highlights of two rather forgettable weeks of footy:

Round 5 and it was all about Geelong's Swan dive. Yes, JB went to Sydney. Or rather the western suburbs of the harbour city. It might have been a different state but the result was the same. Some Sydney-based fans of this once proud club from my old hood of South Melbourne simply have no idea about Australian football or the etiquette one should display when attending a game. The young kids (you know, the ones the AFL are apparently targeting) love nothing more than rubbing it in your face when your team is several goals down. It's hard to think how the league is going to attract more people to games in this rugby league stronghold when the cheapest ticket was $33. There were a surprising number of Geelong fans and I met a couple of them on the long train ride out to Homebush where we took part in a little bit of beer appreciation. There was simply not much to appreciate about the Cats, save for Brad Ottens' marvellous mark and that glorious goal from Gary Ablett Junior. Final score? Sydney 15.17 (107) defeated Geelong 13.7 (85). A flattering scoreline if you read this match report.

Round 6 and it was again pure hell as Melbourne demonised Geelong. I was in the more familiar surrounds of the MCG following my Sydney sojourn, albeit with a new crew. To my left is The J-Man, a work colleague of mine who is a mad Melbourne fan. I joined him and some of his mates. Believe it or not, I was actually going to watch this game on television on a cold and wet Friday night. A big group of Geelong fans from sleepy hollow and the big smoke were all in until the city's fickle weather really showed just how fairweather some fans are. Most of the people who were going to come along to watch the game with me had the flu, pulled a heart muscle or were overseas (I'm looking at those in The Mother Country). Also, not to make the trip was The Other KL and Biff Morton. I originally told the latter pair that I would be joining them on the sidelines until Four Example basically called me a wimp. I accept that. The J-Man rocked past my desk on and it was agreed I would join him and his friends to drink after work for copious amounts of expensive mid-strength beer as we braved the arctic conditions in the upper throes of Australia's largest stadium. It might have been worth it had Geelong won but that was too much to ask. I briefly considered chopping up my membership ticket. Final score in that one was Melbourne 13.9 (87) to Geelong 11.15 (81). Some say it was a cliffhanger. I say it was a heartbreaker. Yes, another one and wearing my Geelong jumper didn't have any positive effect. I wasn't feeling confident about this one right from the get-go.

But there was fun to be had the following week against St Kilda in the splendour of the esteemed broadsheet's corporate box. I'll tell you about it ... soon! That's if I have any readers left. Again, sorry for the delay. I waited until I could post some pictures (thanks to the Paraletic Paramedic).

Normal transmission has now resumed.

He is here, there, everywhere and somewhere ...

2006-05-04T20:11:00.000+10:00

Peeps, apologies for the lack of updates. Since my return from Sydney, work has been a crazy mother. Let's just say that the recharged batteries have been quickly drained. I'll try and tap on this little keyboard a bit this weekend with updates on the harbour city and the highs and lows of following your favourite football teams to foreign places. I will also muse about tomorrow night's game. Frankly, Geelong must win. It's that simple.

But before I sign off, a shout out to two cool copy-writing colleagues from the currant bun. The opposition. I have yet to check their proposed aliases with these two delightful divas, but let's call them The Other KL and Bomber Belle. They wondered what they had to do to get on the blog when we went out for lunch today at, you guessed it, York Cafe. Indeed, when the owners at this apex of Asian cuisine see me coming, they always ask me: "Where are your girls?" Well, The Other KL - another Cat supporter who hopefully will join my rather large posse at tomorrow night's game - and Bomber Belle always accompany me to York or I just go by myself. Like yesterday.

Round 4 - A Dog day afternoon for the Cats ...

2006-04-23T16:49:00.000+10:00

To know frustration is to be a Geelong fan. Cousin Davis and his new (siamese) twin, the District Attorney, who is a Collingwood fan, joined me at the phone booth yesterday to watch a heart-breaker. Notice the boys trudge off in the background? Rather than go into depth about the match, please read the match report instead. The pain is too much to go through again and I'm quite enjoying my lazy Sunday afternoon anyway. I've also got to get ready for G-Squared's engagement party. The final score was Western Bulldogs 14.14 (98) to Geelong 14.13 (97). Yes, a heartbreaker.

Walking back to the car from Telstra Dome yesterday, I was thinking what I could do as a Geelong fan to help my team get across the line and I came up with this winning formula: When I sit with Poppa Blog in our seats at K-Park and we consume tomato soup, we win by more than 10 goals. It's pretty simple, except to think the next game at Skilled Stadium isn't until May 27, for the Round 9 clash with Richmond. We could be 2-6 by then!

I knew the day got off to a bad start when we got to Melbourne and my beloved York Cafe was not due to open for another 20 minutes. Running out of time, we decided to get some over-priced foccacias served by some Fabio look-a-like at a nearby cafe. Anyway, we went back past York and they were open, so I got some famed Singapore noodles, with cashews, to go. The day was seemingly back on track. But then we went to the footy. A good afternoon ruined, although it was good to catch up with that dynamic duo and a colleague from work.

For a guy who has been watching his weight, the last week has been a blowout. But then I go and surprise myself by spending a couple of hours at the gym today to later weigh in at under 100 kegs. Yesterday, I also enjoyed a Whopper value meal, supreme nachos, a jam donut and beer at the footy, as we watched Geelong bumble, fumble and ultimately stumble. After such a promising start, one thinks it could be a long season. And to think I persuaded Cousin Davis to buy a membership. The guy might be permanently scarred.

Rivjuando e-mailed me the other day and said: "Looks like their's a lot of footy in your life these days." Well, apart from the footy and the long commute to and from work, there hasn't been much else. But I am going to Sydney on Thursday in a few days for, you guessed it, more football and some general sightseeing. Hopefully I'll have something else to report on then.