The first quarter (days 1-4) - R.I.P. my favourite hat ...

So the tour got off to a fast start but it was a wonder that I got to the central London pick-up point at all. Can you believe that in a city as big as London (population 7 million) the trains don't start until just before 7am on a Sunday? With the ATM out of order and no taxi drivers taking a credit card, I managed to convince one cabbie to take a payment of Euro as I had converted all of my British pounds the day before. He was a good cab driver, unlike the one who took us home from Amsterdam later that night/early the next morning.

Along with Vanilla Ice and Prince Albert (the respective nicknames for our Contiki tour manager and driver), I was joined by almost 50 others on the bus to Dover, to begin our European Encounter with a short trip over the English Channel by ferry. The white cliffs must be seen to be believed. I was taking a few photos until a big gust of wind intervened and blew my Quiksilver cap straight off my head, seemingly for the deep blue. But with a leg-break that even Warnie would be proud of, the hat turned back onto the deck of the ship. Believe it or not, I was filming at the time and caught it all on tape. Ten minutes later, an announcement went over the public address system stating that a lost baseball hat had been found.

But alas, it wasn't my hat and despite the best efforts of the ship staff, I declared my hat lost on our arrival at the French port of Calais. My head will never be the same again. As a tribute, I post a picture of me and my hat with the cliffs as the perfect backdrop moments before his fatal plunge. Rest in peace.

After that moment of reflection, it was off to Amsterdam, via Belgium. We didn't see much of France or Belgium but saw more of Amsterdam that even the most perverted of minds could imagine. It was quite hilarious actually. But I'm aware of some of my readership (for example, my parents) and won't detail what happened, so I'll just make do with this phrase: what happens on tour stays on tour. That, plus the fact I have fifteen more days to write about. Ask me about it over a beer when I get back.

But Amsterdam is much more than sex, drugs and bad cab drivers. It has the Heineken brewery (which unfortunately was closed), Anne Frank's house and the Van Gogh Museum, both of which I visited on day two. Later that night, I joined the others for a 90-minute "booze cruise" around the city's canals and I consumed enough beer and cheese to get my €28 worth.

Day three we were back on the road to Germany via a stop at a cheese and clog factory outside Amsterdam. Hence the photo of me in a huge clog. Then we travelled to the little hamlet of St Goar, on Germany's Rhine River. The town is host to the biggest beer stein shop in the world, including a limited edition series that is made with parts of the Berlin Wall. I had my picture taken with the world's largest beer stein before getting on the amber fluid later that night. As a group, we also consumed around 500 shots of a German spirit, whose name temporarily escapes me. It was quite poor really, considering the Contiki record is around 1600.

Day four we drove to Switzerland to stay at Europe's highest hotel, 7000 feet above sea level on Mount Pilatus. Feeling sick and run-down, I decided to have a quiet night in, considering the infamous "Swissco" that was to be held the following night. Bad move. More people had fun drinking and sniffing tobacco with members of the Swiss Army on day three than at the disco. Apparently, the soldiers were taking a well-earned breather after a few months of strenuous training and some of them sold their gear to the Contiki crew. I didn't read about this in the itinerary, but a few travellers said it was the highlight of their trip. I wouldn't have known as I was in bed with a bad cold.