So sad but so true ...

I needed a bit of a laugh when I received this forwarded e-mail from the man formerly known as KL (you will soon discover that I now - sometimes, old habits die hard - call him MVP after his efforts on grand final day). This list made my day (and made me laugh) and if you're from G-Town, then I'm sure you'll appreciate it too.

I've added my own personal commentary after each of the 45 entries. So, without any further adieu, you know you're from Geelong when ...

1. You were born at Baxter House.
(No, but Rogan Josh was.)
2. You still hang out with the same friends you had in high school.
(What's wrong with that?)
3. You can't go out without seeing someone you know.
(Again, what's wrong with that?)
4. You always end up at the Eureka every Saturday night.
(As a younger man, I may have done this.)
5. You used to always end up at the GH every Saturday night.
(Again, as a younger man, I may have done this.)
6. You remember the good old days at the Lyric.
(Again, again, I seem to be repeating myself.)
7. You have eaten food from Kev's take-away van on Gheringhap Street.
(Sadly, this Geelong experience has eluded me thus far. Kev and his take-away van weren't out on Gheringhap Street last Saturday night, so I'll say it may not happen.)
8. You have waited an hour for a taxi after a big night out then given up and walked home ... because nowhere in Geelong seems very far when you're drunk (or sober).
(I know the drill already, I just start walking. How else do I explain my athletic physique?)
9. You had schoolies in either Lorne or Torquay.
(Another experience to elude me, but then again, I wasn't much of a party animal in my formative high school years.)
10. You hung out at Barwon Valley Fun Park as a kid.
(It was because I wasn't a party animal that I may have hung out - and enjoyed - Barwon Valley Fun Park. Who doesn't love flying foxes?)
11. You have attended a Poppy Kettle festival.
(Yes.)
12. You have performed in a school play at GPAC.
(No. Not that I know of.)
13. You have been on a school excursion to Happy Hen's and Warrumbidgee Farm.
(Yes, although I think they spelt the name of the farm wrong. I tried to Google it.)
14. You have been on a school camp to Sovereign Hill.
(Yes, I caught gold for the first time. Sadly, it was the last time as well.)
15. You remember when Waurn Ponds was one giant paddock.
(Sadly, I do. Now it's a urban jungle.)
16. You claim Missy Higgins as "Geelong's Own" because she went to Grammar.
(I don't claim Missy Higgins as "Geelong's Own" because she went to Grammar.)
17. You generally think people who went to Grammar are wankers.
(Exactly.)
18. You were possibly a "Joey's Boy" or dated a "Joey's Boy".
(I hated Joey's because I went to the rival Catholic boy's school, Chanel. And similar to that beauty on the Jim Beam commercial, I like girls. Even when they don't like me. That way.)
19. You know someone who went to Chanel or Morongo.
(I just may have!)
20. You attended either Deakin or The Gordon at some point.
(I'm looking at my Deakin University diplomas now - they are sitting right next to the keyboard.)
21. You know several people who work at Target.
(Yes.)
22. You know someone who played for Falcons.
(Yes.)
23. You have a Geelong Football Club sticker on your car.
(If I owned a car, I would.)
24. You insist on still calling Skilled Stadium "Kardinia Park".
(Or KP.)
25. You regularly see footballers in your local supermarket and don't particularly care.
(Being a Geelong fan, I care. A lot.)
26. You know Lamby's is the place to be after a footy match at KP.
(See, they even called it KP! Lamby's rocks/rocked, especially on Sunday nights.)
27. You think Billy Brownless should be our mayor.
(Not particularly, but he would be better than John So or Geelong's actual mayor, whoever he/she is.)
28. You have a very strong opinion about Sam Newman.
(I reckon he's a great personality. Just not a great person.)
29. You have a very strong opinion about palm trees in Moorabool Street.
(Yes, we're not Southern California. On Saturday night, someone tried to set fire to one. And before you ask, it wasn't me.)
30. You think The Advertiser's a load of crap ... but you still read it every day.
(I don't think it's crap, I've got a number of friends who work there. And I did work experience there! If it's got Geelong footy news, then I'll read it.)
31. You can leave work at 5:15 and still miss "peak hour traffic".
(If I worked in Geelong, I probably would. But then again, I work in Melbourne. I just live in Geelong. For now.)
32. You have jumped off the tower at Eastern Beach and slid down the hill on a piece of cardboard.
(Good times.)
33. You remember when Village only had two cinemas and going to the old Pix on Elizabeth Street.
(Again, good times.)
34. You remember when Smorgy's opening was the biggest event in the town's history.
(I must have been sleeping when this happened. But I do remember waiting for 90 minutes with the Blog Family to get into Sizzler in the early '90s. Unbelievable.)
35. You remember when Club 4 Play was a creepy underground McDonald's.
(Yes, and thankfully I never went there. Club 4 Play, that is.)
36. You remember when OfficeWorks was World 4 Kids.
(I love the whole juxtaposition of Club 4 Play versus World 4 Kids. W4K wins every time.)
37. You remember when Brashes was a cool place to buy cassettes.
(So cool that they even spelt Brashs wrong. I bought U2's Rattle And Hum there. In 1989.)
38. You insist on still calling Westfield "Bay City Plaza".
(I do.)
39. You remember when Bay City Plaza car parking was free for the first two hours.
(What, it's not free anymore?)
40. You refer to "going shopping" as "going into town".
(I do. This is starting to sound like a wedding ceremony.)
41. You went on a Contiki tour and met several other people from Geelong.
(I did not. In fact, I was the only Victorian male on my European tour and the only Victorian female happened to be the niece of one of my fellow colleagues at the esteemed broadsheet. Small world.)
42. You know what "Buckets and Bouquets" are.
(I do. Bouquets to the person who created this list. Buckets to the long list of people who have knocked G-Town over the years.)
43. You know Geelong doesn't just rock. It K-Rocks.
(It does.)
44. You always refer to Geelong as "G-Town" when talking to Melbourne people (or any people really).
(Do I?)
45. You acknowledge Geelong's a hole ... but still get pissed off when Melbourne people call it "Sleepy Hollow"!
(Seriously, and if you haven't already gathered, I'm very proud of my home town. I reckon it's awesome so naturally I get a bit miffed when people knock the place.)

Can anyone out there think of five more to bring make this list a Top 50?

It's all just fantasy ...

More about my September to remember in a later post for this past weekend was, aside from working at the esteemed broadsheet, spent crunching the numbers for the upcoming fantasy basketball season. While those last three words of that previous sentence are never going to get the girls, the same group of 10 guys have been getting together since the start of this decade with the ambition of wanting to be the best general manager in fantasy hoops. However, only three GMs (Special K, Shan Dogg and K-Lenko) have earnt this highest honour. I thought it was worth the opportunity to post a picture of all of the lads together as it only happens once a year and here's hoping my team, Unexplained Bacon, can take home the bacon come April 2008.

A September to remember (part one) ...

It wasn't that long ago, but I imagine I'll be talking about September 2007 for years to come. Indeed, it was an exciting time, as both my teams - Geelong and Manly - descended deep into their respective football finals. Expectations were high and a big Hawaiian holiday was also on the horizon. I was in my element housesitting for K-Beezer and Cameroon who were also in their element, galavanting around Europe for a month.

There is no photographic evidence that I attended the first week of Geelong's finals campaign with Poppa Blog (who is also overseas) to see our Cats bounce the Kangaroos from the MCG in front of a big crowd on a Sunday afternoon. So I made sure that, following the team's week off, that the Canon was in my pocket for what was the biggest game of football I have ever been to, the preliminary final between Geelong and Collingwood on a Friday night, with more than 98,000 in attendance.

The day started off well when the Murf Man invited me to the Hotel Spencer for a Chicken Parmagiana (I believe that dish deserved capital letters). There were a couple of guests: one was a fellow writer from the esteemed broadsheet, and like Murf, a fellow Pies fan. But to even up the Heath Ledger, the other lunch guest was Mark Wilson, bass player from the band Jet. Mr Wilson and yours truly have a few of things in common, like growing up and barracking for Geelong and even going to the same primary school. So there you go. It's a small world.

The only bad thing that occurred was the amount of beer I consumed over the course of the afternoon. Upon leaving the pub with a few Coopers Pale Ales above my belt, I went to see Rogan Josh at his new inner-city abode before going to another fine drinking establishment, and in turn, getting to the game just before the singing of the national anthem.

The dynamic duo of K-Lenko and C-Bas joined me. The latter, a Western Bulldogs fan, joined us because he actually wanted to watch some good teams play when it counts, in September. More beer was consumed and despite what I said earlier - that I drank too much, hence missing key parts of the game - it may have helped time lapse much faster and I did learn from it the following week. Before you could say "Collingwood suck", Geelong had won a game that they didn't deserve to by a small margin of just five points.

So there it was, Geelong was off to a grand final and following the match between Manly and North Queensland the night after, so were the Sea Eagles. And I got tickets to both matches. As I said, it certainly was an exciting time.

To be continued.

Much mahalo ...

I'm here at Kahalui airport and because I have nothing better to do than spend my hard earned on expensive Internet access I thought I'd give a shout-out to the loyal fans that are left. Just about ready to fly back to Honolulu for the final night - might even watch the Los Angeles Lakers - before heading home tomorrow morning to end what has been a great trip where I met a ton of great people. I might have also drank a ton of Bud Light and Cap'n Coke, but that's another story.

This morning I indulged in a favourite pastime - shopping - which reminds me I'll have to make the use of the remaining 15 minutes and 25 seconds here to check the bank balance. I just checked ... not good.

If there are any readers left I promise to return to Australia and start blogging again. For real. It might even help me fill in the few blanks that I have had on this trip. I thought the computer would allow me to upload some pictures but unfortunately it won't.

So I'll see you soon, down under or online. Cheers.

Tumbleweeds ...

Regretting the extreme cost of an Internet connection here in Hawaii, but totally happy with the decision to come here. I'll post much more when I return to Oz broke but happy. Aloha and mahalo to you all!