We're gonna party, like, it's your birthday ...

What came first? The first anniversary of this here blog - today, May 31 - or 100 posts over the past year? Well, sad to say that I'm stuck on 99 blog entries but thrilled that year one is in the books.

I'm off to the country now, but feel free to post a birthday greeting. That includes you, Knackers Knackerson. Year two might be a little bit different but JB's acerbic wit will hopefully continue to entertain. Thanks for the support and I'll see you on the flipside.

Over and out.

Rounds 7,8 and 9 - This could be the last post ever on the Cats ...

I hear you ask: "What the hell is that?" Well, that's a colleague's attempt at taking a picture of me with a cardboard cutout of St Kilda champion Robert Harvey, a two-time Brownlow medallist, with a camera phone. Harvey had broken the record of all-time number of games played for the Saints who ended up losing to Geelong in one of the worst games apparently ever played just over a couple of weeks ago.

I can't really comment because (a) Geelong snapped their four-game losing streak and (b) I snapped my five-and-a-half year streak of not getting invited into the esteemed broadsheet's corporate box. Well, that night - which now seems so long ago - had it all. The Premier and Deputy Premier were in attendance as was Eddie McGuire's brother, Frank. I managed to drink enough beer and scoff down plenty of food and before you knew it, my super night in the "Super Suite" was over. I still managed to walk from one end of the city to the other with my colleague to a karaoke bar in the city. All in all, good times were had.










Going into the following Saturday then, I'm not going to say spirits were high, but I thought I'd see my boys put in a good showing against Collingwood. How wrong I was. I don't normally leave games early, but Cousin Davis and G-Squared joined me on a tram back to Richmond with a quarter to go as the District Attorney and Pauly Paul stayed until the end. The only highlight was getting the picture (above right) of Cousin Davis, myself and our other cousin, former Victorian wicketkeeper, Darren Berry. As you can see (above left), I was far from amused with the action on the field.

With that in mind, I decided not to take any pictures from Geelong's most recent loss against Richmond at KP on Saturday. The seemingly dream season has gone from bad to worse. Our coach, Mark "Bomber" Thompson, reckons we can still make the finals, but like many of my brethren, I'm not convinced (however, I'll still put $5 on some attractive odds in the hope of that happening). In the meantime, I think I'll keep my camera in hidden view for the rest of this season. In fact, I'm almost certain that I won't go this Saturday owing to some work commitments, so my nine-game streak will end.

I have enjoyed the posts by many of the anonymous bloggers out there who obviously take great pride in stirring me up when my team plays badly. It's all clean fun and in good spirits but happening much too frequently - that is, my team is poorly performing on a weekly basis - for my liking.

I do blog about stuff other than footy ...

I mentioned Sydney a couple of days ago. I went to the harbour city a couple of weeks ago to get away from the miserable weather of Melbourne, although my departure picture, right, makes a complete liar out of me. With a few days of time-in-lieu up my sleeve, I decided to mark the five months of being back from my five month trip abroad with a five-day hiatus. Too many high fives, I know. Flying Jetstar from my local airport at Avalon, I was ready for my first real journey for the year, excluding the work trips to Halls Gap and Mildura, of course.

I have a real love-hate relationship with Sydney, but I always enjoy catching up with my uncle and aunt and they sure know how to put on a good show. Concrete Dave is your typical Aussie beer-drinking larrikin who just bought himself a cement truck and his wonderful partner of more than 20 years, Geez Louise, works in finance in Sydney's CBD. I arrived at their Bondi apartment in the city's eastern suburbs around 6pm on Thursday, April 27, and we soon went to the Bondi Diggers and Golf Club, where $3.20 schooners, expansive views of Australia's most famous patch of sand, Bondi Beach, and Asian food (yes, at an RSL Club, I know) was the order of the evening. In conjunction with some of Concrete Dave's friends, we spent $50 on raffle tickets and left the place soon after with three meat trays and a fruit tray. It was, pardon the pun, a fruitful trip.

The next day, Concrete Dave had some rare time off work so we ran some of his errands before meeting Geez Louise in the city for yum cha. A couple hours later and a $150 bill for lunch, Geez Louise went back to work and I persuaded Dave to join me on a trip up to Sydney Tower. The view was unreal and I took many pictures, including this one. Regular visitors to this blog know that I visited a number of skyscrapers during my time abroad. It was tough to convince the uncle to have a beer, who admitted that it was also his first time up the tower despite living in Sydney for more than two decades, so we then paid $7 each for a Crownie to cap off the visit. Then it was back to Bondi, most notably the Diggers for more beer although dinner wasn't necessary considering we had the lunch of 500 million Chinese earlier in the day.

I had big plans for Saturday: go for a run to Bondi Beach before capping the session off with a dip in the ocean. Alas, it wasn't meant to be and while Geez Louise travelled far west to see her dad, I watched countless Simpsons episodes with Concrete Dave before we went to the "you know where" and had a few "you know what". I can also confirm that betting on horses also took place. Considering Geelong's performance later that evening, I would have been better staying in Bondi and doing my dough than embarking on a two-hour excursion out to the city's west. It's Concrete Dave's belief that everything you really want is in Bondi and there's really no reason to leave. Hard to argue with that.

However, we ventured out for a few hours on Sunday but not too far to watch some more football. There's a lot to like about Geez Louise, including the fact she is an avid Manly fan, just like me. You either love Manly or you hate us, there's no in between. The mighty Sea Eagles played archrivals, Parramatta, at the beautiful Sydney Cricket Ground - the site of five premierships during the 1970s and 1980s and many great contests between the teams - and the three of us had some of the best seats in the place. I'll just say it pays to be connected and leave it at that. Like Telstra Stadium, it was my first time there and better yet, Manly beat the Eels 23-22 courtesy of a Matt Orford field goal just minutes from full-time. The esteemed broadsheet's Sydney twin has all the details. Scarf wrapped around my neck and a few beers consumed (I'm sorry that a pattern is emerging here) it was time to go back to Bondi for some dinner and some much needed rest, but then came the news that the Tasmanian miners were alive. You know the rest.

So my Sydney sojourn was almost over, but not before I finally got down to Bondi Beach. I had to do some exercise after a weekend (and some) of general excess. Monday would be a dry day but not necessarily a healthy one despite my sandy stroll. Indulging in some fast food, I then got suckered into buying two-dozen Krispy Kreme donuts at Sydney Airport (for the family, of course) before flying home to Victoria - The Place To Be apparently - where Poppa Blog and the rain welcomed my return. It was a great trip but to quote The Get Up Kids, all good things have endings.

Rounds 5 and 6 - Hardly time for not-so-funny subject lines ...

You didn't think I was going to blog on about every Geelong game I've been to this year, did you?

Well, until last Friday's game, there wasn't much to write about on the footy front. As you will read below, Geelong put the finishing touches on a four-game losing streak. And yes, I saw every game. I even travelled interstate to watch them. Ouch!

Apologies for the lateness of my entry. You would have also thought that coming up on the one year anniversary of The Life And Times Of JB (May 31) that things would have become more efficient. Sadly not.

Anyway, blink and you might miss them. Here are the, um, highlights of two rather forgettable weeks of footy:

Round 5 and it was all about Geelong's Swan dive. Yes, JB went to Sydney. Or rather the western suburbs of the harbour city. It might have been a different state but the result was the same. Some Sydney-based fans of this once proud club from my old hood of South Melbourne simply have no idea about Australian football or the etiquette one should display when attending a game. The young kids (you know, the ones the AFL are apparently targeting) love nothing more than rubbing it in your face when your team is several goals down. It's hard to think how the league is going to attract more people to games in this rugby league stronghold when the cheapest ticket was $33. There were a surprising number of Geelong fans and I met a couple of them on the long train ride out to Homebush where we took part in a little bit of beer appreciation. There was simply not much to appreciate about the Cats, save for Brad Ottens' marvellous mark and that glorious goal from Gary Ablett Junior. Final score? Sydney 15.17 (107) defeated Geelong 13.7 (85). A flattering scoreline if you read this match report.

Round 6 and it was again pure hell as Melbourne demonised Geelong. I was in the more familiar surrounds of the MCG following my Sydney sojourn, albeit with a new crew. To my left is The J-Man, a work colleague of mine who is a mad Melbourne fan. I joined him and some of his mates. Believe it or not, I was actually going to watch this game on television on a cold and wet Friday night. A big group of Geelong fans from sleepy hollow and the big smoke were all in until the city's fickle weather really showed just how fairweather some fans are. Most of the people who were going to come along to watch the game with me had the flu, pulled a heart muscle or were overseas (I'm looking at those in The Mother Country). Also, not to make the trip was The Other KL and Biff Morton. I originally told the latter pair that I would be joining them on the sidelines until Four Example basically called me a wimp. I accept that. The J-Man rocked past my desk on and it was agreed I would join him and his friends to drink after work for copious amounts of expensive mid-strength beer as we braved the arctic conditions in the upper throes of Australia's largest stadium. It might have been worth it had Geelong won but that was too much to ask. I briefly considered chopping up my membership ticket. Final score in that one was Melbourne 13.9 (87) to Geelong 11.15 (81). Some say it was a cliffhanger. I say it was a heartbreaker. Yes, another one and wearing my Geelong jumper didn't have any positive effect. I wasn't feeling confident about this one right from the get-go.

But there was fun to be had the following week against St Kilda in the splendour of the esteemed broadsheet's corporate box. I'll tell you about it ... soon! That's if I have any readers left. Again, sorry for the delay. I waited until I could post some pictures (thanks to the Paraletic Paramedic).

Normal transmission has now resumed.

He is here, there, everywhere and somewhere ...

Peeps, apologies for the lack of updates. Since my return from Sydney, work has been a crazy mother. Let's just say that the recharged batteries have been quickly drained. I'll try and tap on this little keyboard a bit this weekend with updates on the harbour city and the highs and lows of following your favourite football teams to foreign places. I will also muse about tomorrow night's game. Frankly, Geelong must win. It's that simple.

But before I sign off, a shout out to two cool copy-writing colleagues from the currant bun. The opposition. I have yet to check their proposed aliases with these two delightful divas, but let's call them The Other KL and Bomber Belle. They wondered what they had to do to get on the blog when we went out for lunch today at, you guessed it, York Cafe. Indeed, when the owners at this apex of Asian cuisine see me coming, they always ask me: "Where are your girls?" Well, The Other KL - another Cat supporter who hopefully will join my rather large posse at tomorrow night's game - and Bomber Belle always accompany me to York or I just go by myself. Like yesterday.