A farce (and a football team) ...

No, I'm not here to rave about the end of the Cricket World Cup or Ben Cousins returning from drug rehab. What angered me today was the news that Victoria Bitter has released a new mid-strength beer that comes in the same distinctive brown bottle but is adorned with a different label. Talk about a new yellow peril. A colleague will have an article to appear tomorrow in the esteemed broadsheet which is still esteemed, but just not as broad. The beer, like the esteemed broadsheet, is proudly Australian, but so is Australian Idol and that means I don't have to like it. But lump it I must. I pondered its existence just moments ago - a blog Exclusive (with a capital E).

Other things getting my goat this week are the fickleness of females, the game of golf and the performance of one Geelong Football Club. The latter (but also the formers) are continually happy to take my money but not willing to give me any value in return. The Cats were hardly back and coach Mark Thompson lamented his "weak" team. It's the last time I believe what I read on a banner. After watching them lose to Hawthorn in the unlikely surrounds of Tasmania last week, I ventured to Kardinia Park yesterday to watch them be humiliated by the Kangaroos. I was due to sit with Poppa Blog in out new Brownlow Stand seats, but took up an offer from the sister of a work colleague who was looking for someone to hang with. I've been to the movies by myself in the past, but I don't think I could do the footy solo. So the highlight of the day was meeting her and popping down to Momma Blog and P-Blog at halftime to indulge in a cup of tomato soup. I'm not going to talk about the game. We all remember last year's ill-fated football blog. I do, anyway.

So that's about it. What do I like then? In no particular order: A nice glass of Captain Morgan (and their cool commercials), upsets in the first round of the NBA Playoffs, watching a cool television show like Entourage with a big bowl of microwave popcorn, going to the gym and instantly seeing the results, renewing acquaintances with old mates and making new friends, prospects, going to gigs with the Murf Man (stay tuned), listening to Silversun Pickups, Burden Brothers and Modest Mouse. But most of all, I like hanging out with my family, pictured left at Rogan Josh's 22nd birthday shindig on Saturday, because they are great people and the only people to understand me sometimes.

The world (and a football team) in his palm ...

Yes, I'm back. Thanks for asking. After three days of work, I'm like blah. Luckily, I had golf on Saturday and a Cats victory, as pictured, on Sunday to take my mind off the inevitable. People around the office comment on my suntan and Momma Blog says I have a happy, healthy glow. I don't see it, but I'll take it. I'll also take this too: a friend of mine from The OR is getting married in Hawaii later this year and I'm invited! So I'm there. I hope a few other Oregonites can make the trip. Who knows? The Jeweller and Murf Man may be in Florida at the same time and we can hook up in Hollywood. I'm all about making things happen!

It's been good being back for the most part, catching up with friends and showering family members with gifts galore. All were appreciative.

The fantasy basketball season ends tomorrow and I'm hoping that my team - Esteban Batista Rulz - will avoid finishing last. At least I have an excuse for my sudden demise over the last month. It's the same reason why I performed miserably on the links with Cameroon on the weekend. I'll hit the course this weekend, but the footy is ruled out with Geelong playing Hawthorn in Launceston, Tasmania. Anyway, I hope your not too bored with my normal life. But it's better than it being abnormal, I guess.

Leaving Las Vegas, sorry, Los Angeles ...

Well, America, it's been fun. I'm sitting here in the international terminal at LAX paying a quarter per minute to say that's I'm nearly done. Check-in had a few dramas but I got there in the end. I see a sports bar in the distance, which is a fitting finale. Thanks to Cole's New World for letting me crash at his joint last night - the views of City Of Angels skyline had to be seen to be believed - and for the whirlwind tour of Hollywood. Before returning the hire car this afternoon I did a final bit of shopping and went to Dodger Stadium. For the uninitiated, that's a place where Major League Baseball is played. I've seen a few of those on this trip.

Anyway, it's back to you Richie in the central commentary position. As I've said, it's been a blast. Stay tuned for the recap in the coming weeks.

John So would be so stoked ...

Plenty to report from San Luis Obispo where I'm staying at a neat little hostel but unfortunately not a lot of time to thrash out what I've been up to for the last few days. As mentioned, I successfully biked the Golden Gate Bridge yesterday and met up with another guy from Melbourne who has been on tour for more than a year. He has a cool blog and so many stories. I told him he should write a book. The views from the nearby Marin Headlands were amazing. I then hired a cool white Hyundai Elantra - I reckon I'll call him Harry Hyundai alias Fran Whitesans - last night and drove to Pacifica, which was as far as I could get because I was so tired.

Today, I took the famed Highway 1 all the way to here via Pebble Beach. I would like to one day (a) have the money to play there and (b) have the skills to play there. In that order. The drive all the way down was everything I imagined it to be and not good for a photographic addict like myself. Tomorrow, I'll probably head to Los Angeles for my final night in America. One of Murf Man's good mates is putting me up - I'm not sure if he offered or I just asked - so I'll probably see some of the sights before flying out on Wednesday night. It's been a great trip. And to think that exactly a month ago I had arrived in Honolulu.

Rorting the system that rorts you ...

So, the computer at this Internet cafe crashed before and I changed terminals. Little did I (or the people whose invented this exorbitantly priced system I am now dodging) know is that when you change terminals, you get your entire balance back! So here's another post and another gratuitous picture from the game on Friday evening at AT&T Park, which is right near Berry Street. But I must go, I have a bike ride to enjoy. More later (if I can shaft the system again).

No eggs for me, just send money ...

Happy Easter from San Francisco, just not from Lombard Street. That was yesterday and I have the picture to prove it. Unfortunately, a technical glitz prevents me from posting other photographs at this time. The weather is much better than in previous days. That probably explains why I avoided the rain and fled to Macy's at Union Square yesterday, which will please the Queen of The Porch to no end. Now I am in a pickle as to how I'll get my four business suits and a collection of other attire home. But I will worry about that another time. You're probably wondering why I bought so many. We'll, when you can buy a Ralph Lauren or a Donald Trump suit for $US120, it's a good thing. Overall, I saved more than $US1700. It's just I had to spend $US480.

Today, I'm going to take advantage of the sunny skies and do a bicycle ride along the Golden Gate Bridge. Yesterday, I saw the Bay Bridge, which is also pictured left, along with many other things. I made the most of my all-day pass on the cable car and avoided walking (most of) the steep hills. I really love this city. Last night, I had clam chowder at Fisherman's Wharf washed down with an Anchor Steam. Cousin Slugg will be disappointed to know it was served in a brown plastic bottle. I had ice cream at an awesome little neighbourhood shop, avoiding the overhyped and overcrowded Ghiardelli Square for the most part. I saw Darth Vader and a storm trooper pose for pictures. I worried about the many homeless people in the city. I basked in the glow of a Geelong victory, receiving countless text messages from home and abroad. I felt vindicated for missing yesterday's baseball game as Barry Bonds didn't play, seeing him the night before with more than 40,000 fans on a cold night, drinking cold beer.

And yes, I continued to buy more stuff.

So frustrated in San Francisco ...

And that's only because of this slow and quite expensive Internet connection that doesn't allow me to check my e-mails. I arrived in Oakland last night, via St Louis and Los Angeles after leaving the safe and comfortable confines of 'Ome, the newest hostel in Hollywood, Florida. The King and Queen of The Porch hosted me for a little over two weeks and I enjoyed their company tremendously. Now, if only I could add some pictures! In short, I rounded out my stay with a visit with Murf Man to South Beach on Monday and then going solo to Fort Lauderdale Beach on Tuesday before boarding The King's unnamed 21-foot boat for a tour of South Florida's waterways north of Miami. Thankfully, the wind stopped shortly before my departure, making the tour a reality.

So now (and so frustrated) I'm in San Fran, staying at the Monarch Hotel that I have frequented in 2002 by myself and with Cousin Slugg in 2005. He will be happy to know that I had breakfast at Mel's Drive-In just moments ago and I reckon the same waiter who served us still works there. I wanted to have The Lumber Jack, but seeing it's Good Friday, I thought it was a good idea to abstain from half-a-pound of ham steak that went with the eggs, grilled potatoes and short stack of pancakes. I know Momma Blog would be proud. But you wouldn't know it's a religious holiday in these parts. The traffic still flows, the shops are still open and there are sporting events still on. And the only reason I'm going to the baseball this evening (the SF Giants host the LA Dodgers at AT&T Park) is because there is rain forecast for tomorrow afternoon, the home team's final game before embarking on a road trip.

Anyway, if I can check my e-mails and post the pictures that are worth at least 1000 words I'll try and update this here blog at the earliest possible opportunity, if only to please Poppa Blog. In the meantime, I hope you and yours have a happy Easter.

Good dog, good times and good beer ...

Meet Rocky. He lives next door to King and Queen of The Porch. The adorable chocolate labrador is rambunctious in the morning, but he's a lovely dog and sometimes obedient, or is that simply the makeshift barricade to prevent Rocky from devouring a lovely plate of ham and eggs, made by the King, this morning? Rocky and I just returned from the park. It's easy to see why Topeekeegee Yugnee Park is known as T.Y. Park for short. It apparently is a Native American tribal name for "meeting or gathering place." Anyway, Rocky isn't so rambuncious anymore, but rather resting at home. He's tired.

What else has been going on this week? Well, Murf and I went to spring training for the Boston Red Sox and New York Mets in Fort Myers and Port Saint Lucie respectively. More on that later, although I have included another gratuitious car shot. I reckon the vehicle supplied by the good people at Enterprise Rent-A-Car looks like a girl should be driving it, hence the name Christine Chevrolet, alias Hollywood Champagne. I'm hoping to close out the trip in style and in something more manly when I hire a car in San Francisco next week for my Pacific Coast Highway leg. But that's nearly the end of the trip and I don't want to think about that yet.

As a token of my appreciation I took the King and Queen out for dinner last week. There was one proviso: we had to go to Outback Stakehouse, which was founded in Florida almost 20 years ago. Rather than trying to be original, I'll simply lift the company information from their website and say that it's "an Australian steakhouse concept open for dinner only. Although beef and steak items make up a good portion of the menu, the concept offers a variety of chicken, ribs, seafood, and pasta dishes". Well, Outback forgot to mention they also serve Australian beer! While they were out of most types, they still had Coopers Sparkling Ale and we almost drank them out of that too! The King is now a fan and has even mentioned he might join the Coopers Club. It was a great night. I devoured my steak, a 20-ounce T-Bone called The Melbourne. We also had a Bloomin' Onion, which, simply put, is an deep fried onion. We're going out for dinner now, meaning I have to go. Now. But I hope you'll be feasting on more of the bloomin' blog later on.